Learning to Love
by Akria09
Summary: When Tom Quincy meets Jude harrison he instantly knows theres something specail about her. When dire cirumstances brings them together they find falling in love to be easy but as the past returns to haunt them will they relapse into their old ways? LTL
1. Chapter 1

**Read! Very Important**

_This story starts off kinda tragic so if you can't handle alittle sadness then I must warn you not to read this fic. I was gonna hold off on this story, but I said eh, whatever and so here I am posting it. This story means alot to me cause it has some of my personal experience and those of family members and friends. Its has a deeper meaning then all my other fics. There's 8 parts to the prologue, the story starts in there past...you have to know their past to understand their present. It takes you through their childhood past to there here and now. I might later change the title, IDK...That's all the info you really need for now :) Writing this made me feel alot, angry, sad, disgust, and disbelief...I hope you like it._

**Prologue Part1**

**Life Changing Moments**

_Jude Harrison Age: 6_

Silence strected out through the Harrison home as Jude Harrison woke up.

She sat up, her little body sliding out from under the cotton white sheets. She untangled her long blue night gown from her body, sweeping her long blonde curls out of her face, then swung her feet onto the floor getting out of bed. Her tiny feet moved across the floor as she went in search of her sister. Their mom had left earlier for work and she didn't know where their father was, he wasn't home offtend. She quickly walked out her door, instantly winding up at Sadie's since their rooms were so close together. Sadie's door was open, so Jude just stuck her head in, her eyes searching for her sister. But it was just the pink room with rainbow colors every where and an untouched bed. The covers lay smooth and unruffled as if the bed had yet to be slept in.

Guessing hr sister was in another part of the house Jude took her leave, still looking for her sibling. She made her way through the halls passing the clean neat kitchen and the living room. Not finding her on the first level she thought she'd have better luck finding her sister on the second level. Her hand grabbed the banister curling, gripping as she slowly made her way up the stairs."Sadie...Sadie..." Her voice called out but the sound didn't travel very far. As she reached the final step she could ear strange noises from her parents room. A rush of dread flooded her body, she felt as if something was wrong. She wondered if her her sister or mother was in pain. Had her mother came home early? With the thoughts pushing her on she hadn't even realized that she stood in front of her parents door, she just reacted. Her hand tentatively pushed against the pale white door, opening it slightly. Taking a breath she pressed her face against the frame and looked into her parents room, and her eyes widened at the site that would forever change her life.

Her father sat on the edge of the bed, his body totally naked. Strange sounds erupting from his mouth. His eyes were closed with a strained look. Jude's hand shook against the wall, unbelieving of what she was seeing, for some reason it sickened her, even at her young age. It just seemed so...wrong! _Why would he do it? was it wrong?_

Her sister was knelt between his legs on the floor.

One of her 8 year old hands laid resting against his upper though, keeping her balanced.Her other hand wrapped around the base of his cock, holding firmly, keeping him so in place that it seemed like it wasn't her first time. Her mouth pressed against him, her tongue sliding, wringing moans from his throat. Staurts fingers were locked in his daughter's hair pulling her closer, holding her where he wanted her. It enticed him, the knowledge that he had her doing this to hm, the fact that it was their little secret. He liked the site of her bringing him pleasure. She was unlike her mother, her body was smaller, her mouth tight, squeezing him. He'd wanted this ever since he'd missed and walked in on her in the bathroom. He could remember it like it was yesterday, he body wet, and naked, she stood there in front of the tub completely soaking the floor. In her hands she held a plain pink towel, which she'd been about to wrap around her body, but he'd got there before she could, he'd got there just in time. She'd noticed him standing there, her innocent mind unknowing to his wicked thoughts, she'd ran to him wrapping her arms around his leg, hugging him. His body had hardened beneath his gray work suit, and from that moment on he'd thought about her doing this to his body. The crude fantasies of him fucking her body had been put into his head, never to leave. He'd made every excuse he could find to get close to her, to do this, to feel her give him pleasure.

Sadie's hand tightened on staurts leg.

She didn't wanna do this, didn't like it, but her father sad he would love her more. He told her he'd stop punishing her if she did it. He said she was supposed to do it, it made daddy's love their little girls more. Her tongue circled around around the head of his cock like he had taught her to. She didn't like it but she loved her father.

Jude who was still standing at the door let out a loud gasp at the act of her sister, and Stuart's eyes popped open looking right at her. His green eyes connected with her blues ones, widening. Jude turned and ran as fast as she could in the unlit hall. As she reached the stairs she could her father calling out her name but sh didn't stop just kept racing as if her life depended on it. Til' suddenly her legs twisted beneath her sending her falling head first down the stairs. She reached out to grab the banister but her arms were to short just out of reach. She let out a scream as she hit face first to a step her mouth instantly blooding. Stuart called out Judes name, his face taunt with fear. He hadn't meant for this to happen, hadn't;t meant for his daughter to get hurt...what if Victoria started asking questions...what if everyone found out? Beside him stood Sadie, her face frozen with horror, her hand covering her mouth and her eyes filled with tears as she watched unable to help her falling sister.

Jude's body turned hiting step for step as, her arm, her legs, her back.

When she finally landed at the bottom she lay sprawled out on the cold floor her body twisted and awkward. She groaned, crying out her face bloody, already forming bruises. Her blond curls tinted with red streaks, her legs lay at an odd angle her arms straight out. Stuart carefully made his way down the stairs, bepassing Jude's bloody trails. He knelt beside her, wearing only a pair of blue jeans.not wanting to pick her up least he hurt her more her sweep her hair back gazing down at her. "Its gonna be okay Baby, you're okay" Tears filled his eyes as he spoke looking down at his daughter, "Judith you can't tell anyone what you saw...Daddy will make the pain go away if you don't tell anyone...okay baby?" He wanted an answer but Jude had already escaped, her body going unconscious. He looked up at the still Sadie, "Go call 911 Sades"

_Thomas Quincy Jr. Age: 10_

Tommy sat at the dinner table with his mom eating.

Both their bowls had been filled with his favorite stew and bread. It almost made Tom feel as though they were normal, as if they were family. She looked over at him and smiled, sweeping her her black hair from her face as her blue eyes flashed at him. Normally they'd wait for his father to get home to eat but they'd waited three hours and hadn't eaten anything all day. Plus they never really knew when he would come home some nights he didn't even bother. He'd just stay with his woman of the night. In all honesty, Tommy didn't really care, he wished his father would just leave. In Tom's eyes they didn't need his father, him and his mother were better off alone, better off as a family together.

He was just about to pick up his cup of grape juice from the table when the front door slamed open.

It gave a loud pound against the wall, bouncing twice before settling. Then his father stepped through the door, completely soaked, his hair spiked and his face twisted in a scowl. He looked mean, bitter, not the man Marie had once loved and married. She didn't know what had happened to him, but he wasn't that man any more he was a monster now. He pulled off his long from trench coat, tossing it carelessly so that it landed in a same hep of leather and raindrops atop of the apartment's gray carpet.

Thomas walked ino the kitchen where his wife and son sat, surrounded by a bubble of fear and silence.

His eyes roamed over the room taking them and the pots and pans/dishes in. "What the fuck?" why the fuck did Marie persist in making him angry, she did it on purpose and he didn't understand why. She knew the rules, she knew to wait for him to come home, now where was his dinner...she just wanted him to loose him control, she begged for him to punish her, that was the only way he could see it. Tommy didn';t raise his eyes from his plate to look at his father, he couldnt. He knew what this night would mean for his mother. Marie Quincy quickly got up from her seat, to stand in front f her husband, but she wanted to run. already she was able to smell the alcohol radiating from him.

"What the fuck are you doing? you didn't think I was hungry?"

But instead of him letting her answer he sent her her crumbling to the floor with a backhanded blow to the cheek.

She looked up at him blood leaking from the corner of her mouth her eyes filled with terror." I...I thought you weren't coming home" She tired to explain, not wanting him to hit her again, he always got worse when he was drunk. "I don't wanna hear god dammit excuses Marie" He yelled at her Kicking her while she was down. His foot connecting everywhere they landed, her back, her stomach, her ribs, her face. She could feel the waves of pain riding through her body, she should be used to this she should be numb to the feeling but she wasn't;'t and she couldn't escape, she couldn't get out. He'd already found her once and she wore the scar from the knife one her belly, forever a reminder that she couldn't get away. She couldn't stop the tears from coming couldn't stop0 begging for forgiveness that would never come, she couldn't stop calling out for help.

Tommy unable to stand the abuse to his mother any longer ran and grabbed onto his father's legs his small hands punching while he bit, trying to do anything to help his mother to help his only family. But his father just shook him off turning to strike him, to get him out of the way Thomas had never wanted children anyway, he'd beat the last to children out of Marie, she should've been grateful he'd let her that little runt. As Marie noticed what was about to happen she jumped in between them. Her only thought was to protect her son, protect the one she loved. "Please Thomas...don't" But her husband only saw red. She would dare step in front of him, she would dare take another mans side. The side of this weak little boy, he knew he should've take care of the boy long ago but it was a mistake he would correct. Pushing his wife out of the way with the intent to take care of her later her pulled back punching his son watching as the boy bounced off the refrigerator and landed on the floor. The last thing Tommy saw before he lost consciousness was the site of his mother's head hitting the edge of the counter, with an innocent mind he didn't yet know it was the blow that had ended his mother's life.


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay so I'm warning you again, This story is graphic, and the first 8 parts are sad...But things will change, trust me.This story is dedicated to all the people who feel unloved, unwanted ad just plain abused. There's many people in the world that things like this happen too, and I just wanted to write a story about it, and Jommy is the perfect couple for this. This story is not to offend people, its meant to show a deeper mean the story from all parties side, the good and the bad. Its to show a great lesson, and I understand that some people can't read it, and I totally don't mind I just...its hard to explain I guess, but I hope you guys like this update...so here goes nothing...-Akria-_

**Prologue Part 2**

**Abuse Of A Parent**

_Jude Harrison Age: 8_

Stuart Harrison laid on top of the dark red sheets in his and Victoria's bedroom. The silk rubbed against his naked body teasing his body even more. Daria, his latest one-night-stand was siting on top of him, his cock already embedded inside her. His wife Victoria was already at work and his daughters probably sleeping. It didn't matter to him if they were asleep or not. He couldn't help wishing that this was his 10 year old daughter Sadie. She always rode him just the way he liked her little body squeezing him. But ever since Jude had walked in that night, two years ago, he had stopped fearing that she'd tell her mother on him. So here he was instead his dick pounding into some female who's name he did not remember, her face going unseen before him, instead it was his daughter's image he was seeing. He should feel ashamed over his actions, past and present, but he didn't. He'd gotten over that emotion a long time ago.

Victoria parked her silver car in the drive way , gathered her things, got out, and then quietly closed the driver door. She had a surprise for her family, they would be seeing her this weekend, she didn't have to go to that out of town meeting. She smiled at the thought of the happiness everyone would share over that information. Making her way into the two story house that was her home she put her books and keys on the table beside the open door. Closing it she made her way around the house to her daughter's room, first her youngest Jude and then Sadie, they were both asleep, one curled in a fetal position on top of her sheets and the other on her stomach hands clasped resting under her cheek, her body covered in pink sheets from the waist down.

After leaving both of her daughter's rooms, she made her way to the stairs.

Making her way up the stairs she unbuttoned her navy blue business jacket slowly pulling it off, she dropped in carelessly on the step behind her. Leaving her wearing ,slick blue pants, and a thin white blouse. She and her husband hadn't had sex in at least a year, she'd been busy with work and such, she never really got to spend time with her family. Her hands grasp one of the pearl buttons on her blouse, but she planned to make that all to them tonight, starting with her husband. She was on the third button when she her the noise. It was coming from their bedroom. It sounded like a man moaning. Her hand gripped the banister as her nose finally identified the scent of sex in the air. Was Stuart alone...or cheating. She chuckled at that sentiment, she was the only one who ha cheated, and she was never found out, he didn't even know Sadie wasn't his daughter.

Stepping off the last stair she made her way down the dim lit hall.

She was about to open the door but she heard the sound of a woman's moan echoing through the room. She pushed against the door, unaware that she was peaking into the room, mirroring her youngest daughter's actions of two years ago. Her eyes widened at the sight of her husband with some slut on his lap their bodies rocking to together as they made muffled noise, moans, sighs, the sound of slick wet body's slapping against one another. But unlike her daughter she didn't stay long enough to get caught, instead she turned leaving. On her way down the stairs she picked up her jacket, quickly pulling it on. One her way out the door she picked up her books and keys and took off in her car, leaving no trace of her being their at all. He would pay, oh he would pay!

--Midnight--

Jude was laying in bed asleep.

Until sudden the back of her head hit the floor with a loud thud, sending shock waves of pains through her brain. She slowly opened her tear curled eyes. Her bedroom was flooded with light and her mother's hand was wrapped around her ankle, squeezing hard. That must be what had pulled her off the bed but she didn't understand way. She had no warning, no chance of running, no knowledge of why before her mother turned and the color of red flashed in front of jude's face, and the hill of the shoe connected with her cheek, cutting into the bone line. Jude let out a blood curling scream, blood washing the left side of her face. But Victoria didn't stop, she continued letting the shoe connect where ever it landed.

Victoria smiled, glorified by her actions.

Stuart would pay. He thought he could cheat on her, but she wasn't having it. She'd noticed how he dotted on his precious 'daughter'. He gave her everything she wanted these days. So if she couldn't physically hurt him she'd hurt him through Jude. Her shoe connected with her daughter's body again and again. Leaving cuts on her stomach, legs, shoulder, face, and back. Victoria didn't care, she didn't care that Jude was her daughter also, she didnt care that jude's blood coated the tips of her finger. She didn't care that her daughter screamed and cried out for mommy to stop, didn't care that the little voice broke and was shallow as it asked why. No she didn't care one bit she reveled in it.

Stuart quickly made his way into his youngest daughter's room, passing his other on on the way.

He'd heard Jude's screams, they'd woken him, made him rush down to she about her. He didn't expect to find her room door open and his wife standing over her beating the shit out of her. But he did. Victoria brought the shoe back, readying the next hit, but Stuart grabbed the shoe from her unaware hands, blood from the bottom of the shoe leaked onto his finger. "What the..."

Victoria turned glaring at her husband, she knew he would come, had wanted him to in fact. "Give me my fucking shoe back"

Her voice was a slurred hiss, the smell of strong alcohol warping through the air as her mouth opened.

That surprised Stuart, his wife never drunk more than a sip or two of wine. "No Victoria, you're drunk..."

She gave a long croaking laugh before she told him, "You're just worried about your oh so 'precious' daughter, always doing stuff for her, always getting her stuff, running to her if she scraps a damn toe!"

It was true everything she said he did do all those things. And even though Jude never asked for anything, or his help, he gave it to her, he feared she would one day tell on him, and he didn't want that, so he would protect her, so she'd protect his secret. Glaring at Victoria for her observation he pushed her out the door "You're drunk, go to bed now, before you regret it..." Smiling reassuringly down at Sadie he shut the bedroom door locking it. He looked down at his daughter, knowing she was unaware of him being in the room. Her nightgown were almost in shreds. Her face had about three or four long cuts. There were cuts all along her body, dripping blood. Sighing he quietly made his way to her bathroom.

Jude had curled up in a ball when her parents were arguing, thankful that they had been unaware of her. Her tears washed the floor as she lay stiff and still like a broken doll. Her body shook with shock as she felt icy cold water run over her cuts. She turned looking up her father kneeled over her , a wet rag curled in his and wiping away the blood from her skin. Giving a muffled sob, she threw herself into her father's arms for the first time in two years not fearing embracing him.

_Thomas Quincy Jr. Age 11_

Tommy was siting by the window staring out side at the pouring rain.

Thats all he did anymore since his mother had died. Today was her anniversary. He knew his father would come in drunk and angry. That's all Thomas senior did, drink and become angry or wind up unable to get some alcohol and pretend to be sad over the death of his wife. It was a play act and it wasn't fooling Tommy though. He hated his father all the more for acting like he'd loved his wife, his father didn't give a damn about anyone except himself. Sighing he laid his head against the window pane, tears filling his eyes as he thought about his mother. He missed her, her soft laughter, her sweet smile, the way she loved him. Without her there was no one to love him, no one for him to love in return.

Tommy's head didn't even move from it's position at the sound of his father's bedroom door swinging open. It was as if he didn't care anymore, he didn't care enough to have fear, he didn't care enough to be aware. When his father called out his name he ignored him, staring out at the dewy wet grass wishing he was somewhere else. Wishing his mother was alive her arms wrapped around him as she whispered about him and her being a family. But wished and hoping didn't make things happen. Dreaming didn't bring his mother back, dreaming didn't make things better. And it was his fault, all his fault.

Thomas Sr. stood infront of his son, his lip curled in anger.

His clothes were wrinkled, a strong smell of alcohol rafting from them. He took a swallow from the clear bottle in his hand, his eyes stuill trained on Tommy. He hated the kid, he hated the fact that his wife had loved the child more, he hadn't been willing to share her with anyone. And now she was dead, she was dead cause the brat had gotten in his fucking way. His eyes filled with tears as thoughts of his late wife went through his head. Marie, his poor Marie. She shouldn't have made him angry that day, she shouldn't have smiled at the kid the way she used to smile only for him. He took another drink from the bottle stumbling forward, slapping the kid in the back of the head to get his attention.

"Hey Boy, I know you heard me!" He slurred.

Tommy uncurled from his seat, whirling away from his father.

Turning he sneered at the older man, clearing showing disrespect, clearing showing that he hated his father's touch. "What the fuck do you want old man?!" His voice was filled with such hatred and anger for an eleven year old that any sober man would have backed up in shock. But seeing as Thomas wasn't sober, instead of backing up he stepped closer pushing Tommy with the bottle, "You got a problem with me touching you boy?" His voice came out a slurred shout, the bottle pushing Tommy again.

Tommy backed up farther from Thomas Sr. his brow raising at the irony, "Oh course I don't want the person who killed my mother touch..." But his sentence ending on a curling scream as his farther yelled losing control, and threw the bottle in his hand at Tommy. The back end hit Tommy right in the forehead shredding skin, denting, leaving a ready made scar, then dropped to the floor shattering like Tommy's heart. He cupped his head screaming out in agony and pain his legs giving out beneath him making him fall to his knees. But his father didn't care, no he didn't give a shit. Thomas was filled with anger, that the little snot nose brat would dare say he was the blame of his wife's death. No it wasn't his fault it had been her and her the kid's fault, hers for making him angry and the kids for getting in his way.

He was full of such anger that he didn't think twice as he walked over and picked up the wood made bat.

His eyes were hollow and dead as he made his way back to his son the back lift and dropping down to connect with Tommy's lifted arm, instantly breaking bone. He didn't stop even at the blood curling scream the child let out as he dropped to the floor cradling his arm, he just repeated his actions this time the back crack ribs, left angery marks of reminders. The boy tried to crawl away een though waves of sickening pain were shooting through his body, but Thomas wasn't having hit swinging the bat one last time he let it connect with the boys leg, stopping him instantly. Tossing the bat aside he knelled before his son, he turned him over. "This is what you you get, do you hear me?! Its your fault my Marie is dead, YOURS! I'm gonna call the ambulance, but only cause the cops are watching me, even after a year they don't believe Marie's death was an accident, but it wasn't my fault, it wasn't..."

Tommy's body had broken out in sweet, he couldn't stop the tears from coming as he tried to catch his breath but it seemed like none would ever come, he ignored his father trying to decide which part of his body to cradle but to many parts hurt. Was this to be his life? Was this how he was meant to die, unloved and unwanted, a burden to everyone else. His father was talking to him but the words sounded like the buzzing of bees. He rested his head on the floor, letting the pain over come him, not fighting it and more. Maybe he should just let his father kill him, maybe it was for the best, was his last thought before he past out unconscious.


	3. Chapter 3

**Prologue 3:**

**Betrayed By The Love One**

_Jude Harrison age 10_

Victoria Harrison stood in her youngest daughter's room staring down at the sleeping girl.

Her nail pink manicured hand slipped into the pocket of her black running suit and pulled out her small gray cellular phone. Quickly snapping it opened her fingers raced across the keys dialing the number from memory. She wanted so badly to reach over and slap the little hellion awake, to hear her screams of surprise and questions of why. Over the past two years it had become a great joy two watch the girl cower before her, to hear her sniffling cries and tentative questions. She liked slight envy that glimmered in the girl's eyes as she watched her older sister be dotted on by their mother. She only hit her eldest daughter Sadie, when the she caught the girl being nice to her sister. The brat had enough people dotting on her, she deserved to be hit, she was just like her cheating father, she would turn out to be a whore. It was her job to do that, if her cheating husband would just stay out iof the way, but he would be out of the picture soon, both of them would.

"Hello" came the grougy sleep filled voice through the phone.

Victoria was so caught up in her thoughts and plans that she didn't even hear greeting.

"Hello" This time the mans voice was more aware, louder.

"Oh yes, sorry John I was caught up in my thoughts" She gave a little chuckle at her own inside joke "Any who, I need a favor"

"Anything, you name it it's yours"

That's what she loved about him, even with their past he was still there for her, even if he couldn't be there for their daughter. "I need you to hire someone to cut some brakes, I need someone taken care of."

Jude eyes fluttered, as she tired to keep her body still, she didn't want her mother to know she was awake. She feared what Victoria would do to her, it seemed everyday her mother was hitting her with something. She had no idea what her mother was talking about, or who she was talking to, but for some reason it filled her with dread. If only she knew she was about to have a life changing moment and things wouldn't get better any time soon.

--**The Next Day**--

Jude woke up with a scream of pain.

Her eyes instantly opened to see a angry Victoria standing before her. Her mother's fingers were tangled in her hair griping dragging Jude from her bed. You'd think she would be used to the pain by now but she wasn't and in truth she never would, she'd never be past the shock of finding her father and sister, she'd never get past the fact that her now hated her. Her eyes filled with tears at the pain, at the realization that this was her life now and she could not change it. Her vison was blurred as her mother pulled her from her room, not even letting her change from her scooby doo pajamas. Even as her tiny feet ran she couldn't completely keep up with her mother's quick paste.

They past Sadie's empty bedroom, way there way down the hall and through the kitchen til' they came to the living room. Victoria jerked Jude's head back smirked at her then tossed her forward like she was a nasty peice of trash. Jude landed on her knees landing before Sadie and Staurt who was siting on the couch. She slowly lifted her head her tear filled eyes boaring into her sister, for a moment hating her, envying her. She'd asked herself why Sadie was treated differently, she'd begged to know what she'd done wrong. But as her sister reached down to help her up she felt guilty for her emotions. She quickly shifted away from her sister's hand hoping her mother hadn't notice the offer of help. She knew that it would only make things worse, she knew the hits would be harder, longer. It wasn't her sister's fault that she wasn't loved and she she knew that. They both knew it even if they couldn't change it.

"Go to the store, I need some material, and take the brat with you" Victoria sneered. She could hardly keep the excited happiness out of her voice, today would be the day everything was taken care of.

Stuart glared at his wife.

He didn't understand why she was acting like this, two years and things still hadn't changed. Since when did she hate her daughter? It seemed like every day he was pulling her off their youngest daughter. But he truly couldn't judge her, he was no better. He had been siting there trying to make plans to get his daughter back into his bed. He just couldn't help himself she had bewitched him with that small body and sweet face of hers. He knew he should just forget about it, he knew he should just leave her alone, but every time he saw her he felt his cock jerk with excitement, he needed her, had to have her. Shaking all thoughts from his head he kneels down before Jude helping her up. Trying to appear less guilty he swipes his hand down his brown suit.

"It's only nine am Victoria, what could you possibly need at this hour, and our daughter has a name" He'd noticed she never called Jude by her name anymore.

She glared at him like he was shit on the bottom of her shoe. He was not going to ruin this, not with all the planning she'd done. As her anger grew her hands became animated flying around to get her point across "It doesn't matter, Just go get something, I have to make dinner you know"

Sighing at the pointless argument he gave a sharp nod.

Wanting to get away he told Jude to get her coat and come on. As they climbed into the white car Jude slide her seat belt on automatically from habit. As they made their way to the market the car was completely silent until Stuart decided to talk.

"Jude..." He voice came out a tentative wisper."Your mother...does love you..."

There was no answer from the other side of the car so he tried again. "Jude...I love you...you know that right sweety?"

Again no answer came from the other side of the car, Stuart's eyes slid from the road to access his daughter's behavior. Jude's head was positioned against the window, her eyes were closed yet he knew she was awake from the tears that streaked her face. He put his eyes back on the road just in time to see blue car swerve into their lane heading right towards them. Without thinking he gave the steering wheel a hard jerk right leaving the road. Jude's head snapped up, full of fear. Stuart's foot meshed the break but nothing happened, " Fuck, the breaks" he sneered. And that was the moment Jude realized what her mother had done, Victoria had set the path for her husband and daughter's death. But she didn't have more time to think for the car sped forward heading dead for a tree. It all happened at once. Jude screamed her hands tightening in her seat belt, the car crashed in the the bulk of the tree, shaking the car with a horrible shirl sound, Jude jerked forward her head bouncing on the dashboard instantly rendering her unconscious. The car with the drunken driver that had made them swerve off the road some how had followed them. But instead of stopping it hit them dead on in the back. Stuart only had enough time to throw up his hands as his unbelted body went flying out the car straight through the windshield, snapping his neck. He died slowly painfully, a late cause when the ambulance got there.

Only if he'd been wearing his seatbelt, only if the car had never hit them, only if the car had never swirved into his lane only if he'd paid attention, only if they'd never left the house. Only if Victoria had never made that phone call.

_Thomas Quincy Jr. age 14_

Tommy was laying in bed, thinking about his mother.

It was one of those late nights where he couldn't sleep, he was already sporting a black eye from his father so holding him up earlier. They'd had to wake up early to pick up his uncle, his father's brother, and Tommy had slept later than expected so his father had decided to beat him awake. That didn't surprise Tommy, nor did it affect him. He had gotten used to the pain, his body numb with the regret of causing he own mother's death. He would take his own life if it wouldn't give his father such pleasure. He wouldn't let the old man beat him that way. His hand slid over the necklace his mother had given him for his birthday before she'd died. It was a star and a crescent moon. She had old him that he was her moon in the sky, her bright star when the world seemed so dark. He was about to turn over when he heard his bedroom door creek open.

The floor groaned under the pressure of body weight.

Tommy didn't move just stayed stilled listening as the person got closer to him. A hand clasped over his mouth and the person leaned over his body unaware or uncaring that the moonlight cut across their face. As the light through his window caught his uncle's face Tommy stiffened, his hand quickly coming up to grip the wrist of the hand that covered his mouth. But that didn't stop the man, his hand pressing harder his fingers digging into Tommy's cheat.

"Don't you dare yell" the gruff voice came.

Tommy was quickly pulled from the bed to stand before his uncle.

But the older man out his hand on Tommy's naked shoulder, ruthlessly pushing him to his knees. His moonlit eyes stared down at Tommy, saying what his lips did not. They spoke of lust and and a burning need for the young flesh, a new piece of meat. Tommy had knew there was something about his uncle that was off, but he thought he was like his father, an abusive drunk. But no with Uncle Rob there was something more. And now he knew what it was but he feared it was far to late.

Bob stared down at the young boy before him, with a lustful excitement he hadn't known his nephew would be so built beneath that shirt of his. For one so young he looked perfect. He would enjoy this night, he always enjoyed the muffled screams of boys, he liked the control, he liked the feeling of paying back what his father had done to him. It took sheer will power to not just pulled down his pants and take what he wanted right now. But the game was in the anticipation, watching the fear of realization appear slowly on the their face. No he wanted this to be slow, this was family, he would treat him extra special, let the fear build longer, but first he wanted alittle pleasure.

He smile was sick and twisted when he came.

He slowly unbuckled his belt, watching the boy as he unzipped his pants. His cock jerked with joy at the look on his nephews face. "Grab it" His words came out a husky command. But Tommy ignored it, continuing instead to stare at him. Rob didn't like that. His right hand swung, backhanding the boy, once twice then again. His hand heavier than his brother's made Tommy's head ache and blood leaked from the corner of his mouth. "Grab it!" Tommy felt as if he'd lost another peice of his soul, he had no one and nothing, there was no reason to continue, to act. His body was numb, his spirit broken, his heart dead.

To its own accord his hand reached out, mere inches from his uncle when the door slammed open and he father walked in. He took in the scene before him his face going from one of confusion to disgust. His brother was gay, his brother was about to fuck a kid, his kid. He knew it, was disgusted by it, but couldn't deal with it. His long strides brought him before them. He stared at his stuttering brother for awhile knowing he would never see him the same way again, before he kicked his son over, starting the beating that they both knew would last all night. As his fist connected with the boy's body he told him how he blamed him for his mother's death, how he blamed him for bewitching his brother, how he wished the kid had never been born. All the while never knowing his son was actually for the first time happy that he was geting his ass beat, for he knew this was the lesser of evils, at least this he was used to. Rob, looking on the actions of his brother was thankful he had got free of guilt, shaking his head he walked out of the room his belt still unbuckled, unaware that tonight's actions would be a life changing moment for him.

--**The Next Day**--

Robert Quincy eyes snapped open aware of his painful head ache, the effect of drinking. He hadn't been able to sleep so he'd drunk...and drunk some more. But he didn't care rolling over he picked up his bottle on the night stand taking another chug, finishing the drink. After last night he needed all the help he could get for today. Leaving his blue jeans on he pulled a T-shirt over his head. He'd make it to the store and back before anyone woke up. Grabbing the keys off the table he made his way out the door not even caring at his appearance. Let people think what they would about his blood shot eyes and messy brown hair.

He was on I-10 when everything took effect.

His eyes drooped and his head dipped to the side as they completely closed and he fell into a light sleep, only jerking awake when he heard the horn of other cars. But as his eyes opened his vision was completely blurred. His car swerved from the road flipped, once then twice, before landing its roof to spin in the grass, the tail of the car crashing into another car. But Rob wasn't aware of any of it for when the car had flipped the fist time he'd been thrown from his seat his body landing wrong on impact his leg snapped in four places his arm twisted out of place but none of that was important because when his head hit the floor it'd snpped instantly.

If only he hadn't landed that way, if only he handn't fallen asleep, if only he hadn't been drinking.

If only hadn't tired to fuck his 14 year old nephew.

But life isn't made on if onlys or what ifs its just hard core facts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Prologue 4:**

**Truly Undealable**

_Jude Harrison Age 13_

Victoria was siting in the middle of the living room at the coffee table.

You could tell there was something truly wrong with her, her skin a palish hue, her eyes small yellow beady eye dots. Her once wonderful appearance now one of those of uncaring. Her nails were long ago chipped. Her once flawless body now appeared way to small, her plain white T-shirt hung off one shoulder. Her faded size two big jeans held up with a simple black belt. Her elbow was braced against the edge of the coffee table,tied around the middle of her arm and secured in her mouth was a black band. Her middle vein showed the evidence of drug abuse. The fact of such a tragic beginning. In her hand she held a ready made needle, a simple dose of cocaine. For one that had been so beautiful, she now looked unkept uncaring and hard.

Deep down she knew who was to blame but that didn't keep her from lashing out at the object of her hatred. Ever since that night three years ago the hatred had built and built. Funny thing about it was that the hatred was aimed herself even though she didn't show she to the out side world. She was weak, broken, one to not substain. After the murder of her husband, and the death that she'd tried to cause but failed, it had been payback time. She had to own up to her side of the deal with John. To her unlucky findings, she didn't have enough money in the bank as she'd thought unaware she had been to the fact that Stuart had been paying his whores off for years. But John didn't take excuses, he wanted what was his, either out of money or flesh. She she'd given flesh to how many and who ever he'd wanted. She'd found herself enticed by the wild life. Enticed by the fact that it was strangers bending her over and fucking her. Enticed by life in the fast life, easy money, fast money.

Maybe if she had known where it would she would've gotten out while she could. Maybe if she had known it would lead her to the path or addiction she would've taken the high road. But she didn't and life isn't about maybes, it's just hard-core facts. Now it was too late and she was who she was. Tensing her arm she let the needle strike it's point. Sinking deep past skin tissues and into the blood stream, giving pressure she lets the liquid spread and take life in her body. Her eyes drift shut and she give s a welcomed sigh, the black band slipping from her mouth as she let her her body relax against the couch. The clarity of the mind settled over her leaving her in a tranquil state.

Jude stood in the door way her hands gripped in her white nightgown.

Her blue eyes were focused on her mother who sat on the floor shooting up yet again. She didn't know how to feel about Victoria. On one hand she was her mother, the woman who had given birth to her. But on the other hand she had tried to kill her, the woman who had succeeded in killing her father. She didn't understand why her mother hated her so, or why she couldn't just feel one emotion for the woman. She couldn't help wishing she had the ability to turn back the hands on the clock, but she didn't. Why couldn't her mother just love her, why couldn't they just be happy? So wrapped up in her thoughts she was unaware of the fact that she had taken a step forward her hand out stretched to her mother, offering comfort from both of their agony.

Victoria's eyes snapped open at the sound of the creak in the floor.

Her vision landed on Jude and she instantly became raged. The fact that the little brat would disturb her in her time of peace was just infuriating. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at the girl, her misery on earth. It was her fault, all the child's fault. She had turned her into the woman she was. This sick creature who didn't care enough about the world, this thing that had turned raven mad and lashed out, the envied eyed monster who had killed her husband. It was all the hellions fault.

"I wish I had crossed my legs and snapped your neck when you were born!" Her voice was an angry sneer hard, cold, her face a twist on ugliness. She went uncaring at the sound of the cry from the young girl. he sat unmoving at the sound of tiny feet running from her, pain pouring from every step. Shakig her head in ultimate disgust she turn her attention back to her table of peaceful lost memories.

_Thomas Quincy Jr. Age 16_

Tommy sat in 5th period class ignoring both the teaching and Kwest.

Kristopher West was the only person he let close to him these days, probably because they'd known each other for a long time, some times winding up in each other's classes from year to year. He really didn't have friends, not people he would let get close enough to call that any way, but Kwest was different, he knew alittle of his Tommy's past, he could be trusted.

The presistant Kwest tapped on his shoulder "Hey man, are you okay?"

He gave Kwest a automatic nod that didn't fool either of them.

He wasn't alright, he would never be alright. His was life was a hell and the walls were burning down around him. His head snapped up as someone knocked him in the shoulder. His eyes landed on Randy Sever, the class wanna be bully, but any bully would have to be stupid to mess with Tom Quincy, he was tempered and quiet, parents should tell their child that it was the quiet ones to be-ware of. Letting out an sigh of annoyance Tommy turned back around to face his desk. But Randy was a pesky kid, one not to be ignore. Nudging Tommy in the shoulder again he got his attention the best way he could.

"Hey Mama's boy!" His comment was loud, rude, inturrupting the whole class on purpose. He like everyone new that Tommy's mother was dead, they all knew it was a sore subject with him. Standing from his chair Tommy stared down at the boy, his eyes narrowed his jaw clenched his hands balled into a tight fist. "Don't talk about my mother Randy..."

But Randy wasn't one to bow down to a challenge, he back stiffened as he rose from from his chair. His eyebrow rose and he continued as if he hadn't even heard Tommy "What... you don't like the thought of your mommy sucking me..." But he never got to finish his his sentence, Tommy fist connect with the boy's jaw like his father had done to him so many time. He didn't let up after wards his fist landing where ever they wanted, Randy's jaw, cheek, mouth, nose. The boy being about the same size as Tommy landed a few blows but they bounced off him, he being used to a stronger heavier hand felt nothing. His anger road him, hard and dry. He found himself picturing his father beneath him pinned against the desk his hand wrapped in his shirt as his other hand attacked him. The blood in body sang with excitement to be able to give his father what he deserved, his mind such a twisted puzzle he forgot that it wasn't his father at all beneath him. It took Both Kwest and the teacher Mr. Goldsting to pull Tommy off the kid. He fought to get back to the boy like his life depended on it, his shouts of let me go ringing through the class as they dragged him away.

--**An Hour Later**--

Tommy kwest and Randy sat in the principals office, Tommy's chair in the right corner Randy in the left and Kwest in the middle of the two. The only reason he was there was to give statement, any kid involved in a fight in school had to give a statement. from the opposite end on the room principle Davis's phone beeped and the assistant announced Tommy's father. Picking up the line Mr. Davis told the woman to let him enter. The room was filled with silence until Thomas stepped into the room. His features were cold and filled with anger. His frosty glaze slid over Tommy, kwest, then stood and rested on Randy his brow raising at the horrible site the boy presented. His nose was busted, him jaw swollen his eyes black, bruised marked his face lighting him up like a christmas tree.

Mr. Davis cleared his throat before speaking "Mr. Quincy, your son has done the unacceptable. He not only interrupted class but he fought with a fellow student and when another student and teacher tried to pull him off the poor boy he fought them to" He motioned to Kwest's eye " He not only marked on student but two and also a teacher, he broke Mr. Goldstng's nose. I would advice you to get him into an anger management class, and quickly but My school does not have the time for it, so his is to be expelled. If you have no comments then you're all free to go"

If he expected Thomas Sr. to care he was wrong.

He didn't care what happened to his son or why. But Tommy on the other hand was angry, He was to be expelled and Randy only got suspended! His Back was stiff with anger as they was out of the office knowing there was nothing he could do. Kwest gave a quick nod to Tommy him that he'd see him later, neither one knowing that later was a long way away. As soon as they got into the hall Thomas hand gripped around Tommy's neck, squeezing, uncaring of who was aware. "You made me leave home for this shit?!"

"I didn't make you leave home, Mr. Davis did!"

"Well I'm tired of putting up with all your shit boy"

"Same to you old man!"

For a moment Thomas forgot his anger a cold grin cutting into his face, "Maybe I should be proud of you boy...See how you're just like me and all"

Tommy jerked away from his father, frowning at words he never thought he'd hear, words he'd never wanted to hear from his father. "I'm nothing like you. Nothing"

"Oh really? because any kid can go crazy with a fir of temper and mark up 3 people...Admit it boy, you're just like your old man, you'll find some young thing that will send you over the edge and you'll treat her just like she's supposed to be treat, just like I treated your mom."

At his fathers words Tommy turned his back walking away. He had wanted to hit the old man for his words, had wanted to see him bleed for talking about him mother as if she was yesterdays news, his punching bag. He hadn't wanted his fathers words to be true but deep down he feared they were even as he feverishly shook his head no. His fathers words that day would haunt him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Prologue 5:**

**The Very Last Straw**

_Jude Harrison Age 15_

Jude sat on the couch in the living room her hands playing through her sister's hair.

It was the safest way for them to be together. Sadie wasn't aloud to share her things with her sister, she wasn't aloud to do anything nice for her sister. It was a Cinderella story without the prince. Sadie had the big portion of everything and Jude was giving the left overs. Sadie was glory of health, Jude's body was smaller fragile even for one so young. It was the effect of not being aloud a proper dinner. Victoria and Sadie were to eat first and whatever were left on their plates was what Jude had. And even though Sadie always tried to leave more food on the plate then she ate, it only caused more problems. Jude couldn't help but resent her sister alittle, even though she hated herself for feeling that way. But there was only so much abuse a person could take. Victoria was doing her damnedest to turn sister against sister. Every time she caught one being nice to the other she made Sadie beat Jude. So they resigned to be together only when their mother was to doped up or needed a high to badly to pay any attention to them. And even then they tried to appear like it was Jude tending to Sadie's needs, like doing her hair.

Victoria pasted back and forth in her bedroom.

Her small hands rubbed against her jeans pants. Her mind was full of chaos. The need of a new dose kept her moving. The curiosity of where the hell he was made her looked out the window repeatedly, searching for him, searching for it. She was a pure mess, her body had gone unwashed for days. Her hair shining with grim. Her teeth were yellow. And she gave off a fowl oder. But none of this she cared about. She old wanted her next piece, her next dose. Her arm was marked with little black dots, her nose appeared slightly red, the effect of the cocaine eating at her nose. She'd tried just about every drug out there. Her body demanded tht she give it what it wanted, and her body shook from going alittle too long without it. She hadn't had money. She already sold everything salable of her daughter's, even Sadie. She still didn't have any money but she did have her body, and she'd do anything to get what she wanted. Her fingers shifted the blinds covering the window and her body jumped in pure ecstasy at the sight of the red corvette parked in the drive way.

She was only half aware of her body moving, leaving the room her feet pading against the floor as she ran past the kids in the living room to the front door. She pulled the door open and their stood John his hand poised to knock. Dropping his arm he brushed past her entering the house without her permission, knowing he really didn't need it after all the drops he'd made there.

"So I got what you need, do you got the money?"

Victoria hesitated knowing he wouldn't like that she hadn't told him the truth over the phone. She smiled moving closer to him, she rubbed her hand over his cock through his jeans and her putrid breath slide across across his neck as she answered. "No, but you know I could make it worth your while."

But John wasn't a two bit hustler, he didn't fuck his clients once they got as bad as Victoria. He considered himself a classy man, or as classy as a man like him could get. He thought himself better than the lowly trash. His eyes slide over the room, then stopped to rest on the girls. His body instantly grew hard at the thoughts in his head, thoughts that would normally sicken a person but sent his body into a lustful need. He turned back to Victoria a slight smirk cutting across his face. She was a druggie, she'd do anything to get her high. "So you want me to give it to you for free? Or for your body exactly...I have to decline sorry." He turned his back making his way to the door.

"Wait..." He stopped at Victoria's shout. "I'll do anything...j..just give it to me, please."

He turned back to face her, his brow raised in a clear taunt, "Okay...I want your daughter. The one siting on the floor."

"No, you can't have her" He tuned his back on her again continuing to the door. "But...you can have the other one, the youngest one...Jude. She's smaller, younger." She nodded her head repeatedly. To her the little girl deserved it. It was impart her fault that Victoria had become the way she was. To her it was just a way to get what she wanted and if it hurt the girl in the process then it was like killing two birds with one stone.

John stopped again turning back to face Victoria. "Okay" His eyes slid to the girls in the living room, instantly connecting with the youngest, Jude. Her eyes were wide as if she knew what her mother had just done. He looked back at Victoria. "We'll need a room."

Victoria motioned behind her, "Through that door, down the hall last door to the left."

Giving her curt nod he walked out leaving her to deal with the child who's innocents he was about to steal.

Jude stared at her mother in disbelief. Her mother had just sold her for a piece of crack. Her body shook with a trepidation of fear and horror as she stood, her feet automatically moving beneath her. She backed away from her mother, dancing on the heel of her feet, her body ready to take off in a mad dash. But it was as if her mother read her very desire to do just that and reached out to grab her before she could turn and run. Victoria's fingers pressed into her arms ruthlessly. Her face was a mask of fury. There was no mercy in her eyes or her voice when she spoke. "Where are you going?! You will do this for me! This is your fault, you know that. If it wasn't for you and that father of yours I would've never became this.You owe me! " She shook the girl in her hands. Her voice was shrill and tattered on the edge of hysteria. But then it got soft, sweet, nice, believable. "I thought you loved me...?"

Jude stared at her mother still in disbelief. She did love her mother, for the woman she had been all those years ago. She didn't know why but she couldn't give up hope that that woman would one day come back. That the woman who once held her, who once wiped her tears away would again tell her she loved her. Tears filled her eyes at what her mother was asking her to do, knowing she would do anything for her mother love, but she didn't wanna do this. Her lips shook and she she nodded slowly, still looking at Victoria, " I do love you mom."

Victoria's voice turned hard once again, "Then prove it.

Not giving her a chance to answer Victoria stood up, the hand gripping Jude's arm slid down to grip her wrist. She pulled Jude behind her, moving quickly it was hard for her to keep up. When they got to Jude's room Victoria pushed her in, following close behind her. John stood in the middle of the room, his shirt already off. His chest was covered in light blond curls matching his blond hair. You would think blond would make him look nice, more merciful, but it didn't his feature spoke of a cold man. He could play the gentleman or the all around sweet guy but right now that wasn't the role he wanted. He had liberty to do to this young girl what he wanted and he was gonna make it worth his while. Pulling the the small tin can from his back pocket he opened it up and took out three pieces of rock cocaine dropping them into Victoria's hand he pushes her out the door, shutting it behind her. She'd just sold her daughter for sixty dollars. If the house hadn't already been paid for she would've lost it by now.

Jude stood frozen as he made his way too her. He gave her a gentle smile grabbing his hand in hers, he pulled her down to sit on the bed. His finger slid up her arm over her shoulder and across her neck to rest under her chin, tilting her face towards him. She whimpered giving a shake of her head, telling him no that way if not with her voice. It's okay he whispered with a sweet smile before his lips cam to rest on hers. Her eyes widen, her body frankly didn't feel anything but that sinking fear, and churning sickness. His tongue forced its way into her mouth, a tell-a-tale sign of how the rest of his body would force it's way into hers. She tried to pull away but his hand grasped the back of her neck holding her to him.

John's body was restless, but he wanted her to put up a fight. He wanted a reason to hit and abuse her. He wanted to see her body marked with his lust, and with his prints. Evidence that he had tread upon her. His free hand rippied opened the front of her dress. It pleased him to have such easy access. She finally started to put up the fight he wanted her body squirmed, her small hands trying to push him off of her. But he ignored her hand gripping her small breast, his finger twisting her nipple, pinching hard enough to bruise. She fought harder her teth sinking into his tongue making him pull back. It caused him anger and pleasure all at the same time. The fact that she had given him a reason to abuse her made his blood rush. To him it was an invitation to do what he wanted.

Jude sat on the bed her dress torn open leaving her breast and panties exposed. Her body shook and she repeated the word no. She started to raise her eyes, to apology for biting him, but instead felt a stinging pain shoot through her head. the blow was hard enough to send her sprawling on the bed. Since his hand was bigger it did damage quicker than her mother's. It was as if he'd hit her three times when in fact she knew it had only been once. In true abuser fashion John didn't stop there. while she was laying on the bed, the surprise and pain wiping the thought of escaping away he took full advantage his body dropping down to cover hers, instantly sending her body back into attack mode. But it was too late stronger muscle held her down. His hips rested between her thighs, his hand held hers down. The bigger size pressed her into the mattress. He other hand slapped her body, its hand big and heavy making it feel more like he was punching her. She bucked , trying to throw him off her body. She squirmed trying to get away as his fingers ripped at her panties then at his own belt. But nothing helped and soon it was too late. He have one hard thrust pushing his cock into her body, past her hymen.

Jude let out a horrifying scream at the pain.

She was...or had been a virgin and John was no small man. It felt as if she was being cut in half slowly. And the pain only increased as he moved his hips. His hands that help her down were unneeded now, all fight had left her the pain holding her paralyzed. Tears leaked from the corner of her widened shock eyes. This was what her mother's love had given her, more pain. She didn't know what she had done wrong. She didn't know what she had done to deserve this. Why couldn't anyone love her? Was she such a horrible person? What ever she had done, she would beg for forgiveness. She just wanted the pain to end. Wanted to forget the pure hatred she always saw in her mothers eyes. Maybe if she'd never been born, then her mother wouldn't be the way she way. Ever thing was her fault, and she couldn't help wishing she was dead.

**_Free_**

_I won't feel this haunting emotion within._

_I won't be disappointed._

_It was never mine anyway,_

_Yet still this hollowness won't let me be free._

_Take it away._

_I beg of u._

_End this pain that's so dear._

_Peace is only a 5 letter word I used to love._

_Bring on the hell_

_Because for this I am ready._

_Is this the only way to end this pain,_

_by hurting others?_

_All I want is to be free._

_All I want is for the loneliness that accompanies me to leave._

_Death beckons to me._

_You do not understand._

_It calls to me._

_Softly haunting welcoming like a whisper in the wind._

_Maybe I should answer its call_

_and let it wash me away_

_Free me of my sins and pain._

_Whats so great about this life you speak of so sweet anyway?_

_All it causes is grief._

_Grief that is not understood._

**_LISTEN TO ME!_**

_Listen to the words I speak_

_The things I say._

_Resist me not,_

_Stop your cruelty_

_you're so brutal._

_I no longer have protection._

_So once again I will rebel._

_Because for me there's no refuge_

_You have me in your clutches,_

_You are my salvation._

_I am enthralled_

_by your treacherous passions._

_Yet you have no regard of me._

_So leave_

**_BEGONE_**

_You no longer have need of me._

_So one must go..._

_I'm on a rampage._

_I'm empty inside._

_Just take this thing away from me._

_Or I will give it up._

_I'm begging and pleading,_

_that you curve the blade._

_Give me one last sensation._

_Leave me not alone._

_Listen to the calm dripping of my death._

_Take me from my eternal misery._

_Unleash me_

_And let me be,_

**_FREE!_**

**By,**

**Akria aka Maurissa**


	6. Chapter 6

**Prologue 6:**

**Hatred 4 Thy Pain**

_Jude Harrison Age 15_

Sadie slowly made her way down the dim lit hall.

She had been curious about her sister all day. Ever since that man had come days ago, Jude had been distant. Her eyes glazed over as if she was unaware of her surroundings. Sadie new what had gone on that day. She couldn't help but hear the screams that echoed through the house, it surprised her no one had called the cops. She still remember the site she'd walked in on after John left. Her younger sister lay on the bed completely naked, she lay still as if dead. Her leg had been open, blood smeared her thighs, and leaked from the corner of her mouth. Marks of purple and blue trailed her body, resting on her breast, her stomach, finger prints indented her wrist and lower knee. But it was her face that made Sadie fear for her sanity. it was pale, stark white, the discoloration giving tell a tell signs of an up coming black eye. Dried tears streaked her face, and her eyes stared at the ceiling above her, as if she was unaware that Sadie had even entered the room. Not knowing exactly what to do Sadie had made her way to the bed her hand reaching out to grasp her sister, to hold her, but just before connect was made Jude turned her head, her look telling Sadie she clearly did not want to be touch. She didn't appear to be the same old 15 year old any-more she appear to have the knowledge of the world pinned on her shoulders. She seemed broken and lost, her eyes speaking of the horrors her lips wouldn't whisper. Sadie had dropped her arm, and Jude had turned her head back to facing the ceiling as if non of it had never even happen. The fact that She didn't cover her body with modesty scared Sadie. Things would never be the same again.

It was yet again another saturday which meant no school for them and Sadie had expected Jude to at least get up and eat breakfast, but she never did, she never even came out of her room. As Sadie came to Jude's bedroom door, she gave a soft knock, but there was no returned answer and after a while Sadie just decided to enter any way. As she walked in she searched the room looking for Jude and found her in the corner. Sadie gave a loud gasp unable to believe the site before her. Jude on the right side of her room in the far corner her legs curled up beneath her, a small razor blade was clenched in her hand and a long cut was sliced in the middle of her lower arm. Blood poured from the open wound flowing down her arm and dripping onto the carpet floor.

Kneeling before her sister Sadie cupped Jude's face in her hands like she used to do when they were younger, tilting her tear streaked face towards her. "What are you doing!" She demanded to know, the fear giving her voice an extra tone of shrill.

Jude's voice like her eyes were filled with anguish when she answered, "I'm trying to get all the bad blood out of me...but it all looks the same to me."

Sadie looked down at her sister, wondering how things had gone so far, how they had turned out this way. She knew what her sister was refuring to with the blood comment, their mother always called Jude bad blood. Her eyes filled with tears as she stared down at her sister who had a mixture of confusion annoyance and anguish on her face. "I'll be right back, don't move...okay!" When Jude nodded her head agreeing to do what she said Sadie gently pulled the blade out her hand and ran to the bathroom. Dropping the blade in the sink, she finally let her herself break down and cry. Her tears were for her sister who felt unloved, who was mistreated. Her tears were for herself, for they life they had. Letting out a shuttered sigh and angrily swiped at a lone tear that drizzled down her face, leave a trace of Jude's blood behind. She grabbed a wound bandage and two towels ,quickly she wet one of the towels slightly then made her way back to the room.

Kneeling before Jude again she cradled her wounded arm with her legs and used her hands to wipe away the blood. Jude didn't flinch or move one time, it was as if she didn't truly feel the pain of the cut she'd sliced into her own arm. After she was sure that the bleeding had stopped she dried Jude's arm with the dry towel and applied the bandage. Jude was still crying when she looked up at Sadie. "Whats wrong with me Sades? Why am I so different from you? Why am I so unlovable?"

Sadie's arms wrapped around Jude, and she pulled her closer letting her sister cry on her shoulder, Her eyes stung with her own tears as she held her sister to her, "I don't Jude, I really don;t know. But you have me, you always will." She vowed, unknown just how that broken vow would effect Jude in the future.

_**One Person **  
Its sharp_

_and quick_

_without sound_

_She picks up the blade_

_biting her lip in anticipation_

_makin the mark quick and easy_

_she wonders if shes crazy_

_"They'll never care anyway" She whispers_

_Now its time for tears_

_they come naturally at the sound of the CD playing in the player_

_Why does it matter so??_

_They could never understand_

_And still she hopes_

_hopes for that one person in this world that could just look past all her lackings and flaws and see her._

_She tells herself maybe it'll end right here right now._

_Maybe the blade will slice to deeply._

_But no it never does and perhaps never will._

_But she is too afraid to accept this so she continues._

_Wheres her will and drive_

_Why does she feel so empty inside. Why does the tears never stop._

_Why do they never say they love her_

_Why is it all lies._

_Why isn't there one person on this planet who can never understand a word she writes anything she feels._

_Why do all those who say they care pull away, the ones that matter most wanna let the dream go?_

_Its her she knows it._

_And maybe its time she pulls back._

_maybe its time to let go._

_let go of hope and love and peace. What has either ever done for her anyway?'_

_Her heart is beaten fast_

_her heart is beat strong_

_and at this she resents it._

_Why can't it just stop??_

_why must they all torture her?_

_Shes sick and her body quivers._

_Its not as if she wants to die._

_Its the fact that no one would care that in the end she was never needed nor wanted._

_Do not judge her please_

_Because although your thoughts shouldn't matter they mean the world to her.And pleaz she doesn't need your pity or empathy shes better without both._

_She **needs** that one person,_

_the one who isn't there_

_the one who shouldn't matter_

_she just needs_

_That one person._

_**-By Maurissa aka Akria**_

_Thomas Quincy Jr. Age 16_

Tommy stood in his new bedroom, a new suit case opened before him.

He'd thrown his stuff in hand fulls at a time, not even folding the clothes or worrying about making things neat. He had been in just that much of a hurry. His father had finally had enough. He was sent him to live with his Aunt. His father thought him nothing but a unneeded burden. And after what had happened at the school, he didn't want anything else to do with Tommy. The sound of a pair of footsteps echoed down the hall getting closer to him. The door swung open and his aunt entered, she had short brown hair, and looked alot like his father. She even had that frozen aura as he did.

She walked over to his bed and snapped his suitcase closed, picking it up by the handle. "Well you won't be needing you clothes, you have to earn your keep here." She turned and faced him before leaving out the room, "The grass needs cutting out-side the, I lives miles from everyone else and the land is big, I don't have a car so Jeb delivers the grocery's monthly, so there's no need to worry about that." then she turned and walked out the door.

Sighing Tommy did as she directed just wanting to get it over with.

He had been cutting the lawn for two hours when he realized just how turn his aunt had been, she owned alot of land, in two hours he'd only cut alittle over a qauter of it. The sun was high, beating down on his back making him over heated and tired. Pulling his T-shirt off he put it on the step of the porch then went back to cutting.

Suzanne stepped out on the porch.

Just watch Tommy cut the yard sipping on a glass of lemonade. She'd gone shopping when she'd got the phone call from her brother telling her that he was sending his wayward son down to live with her. She knew how much her brother hated him. And the news had excited her more than she'd let on. She'd been lonely up here, she had forgotten why the hell she'd moved up here by herself. She hadn't been lying when she said no one and nothing was around for miles. That what made her plan so do-able. After years of only have fat ass Jeb to fuck she needed someone else. She like to be in control and do things her way. The boy was on the skinny side, the effects of not eating properly after his mother died, and that would also help. After her brother called she'd had her house phone disconnected and went to just using her cell phone that she now had hidden. She'd gone shopping for the much needed things. Taking another sip from her cup she watches as his half naked body pushed the mower the sun glistening off his back. Smirking she went back into to cook. He'd be hungry after he was done.

--_**Couple hours Later**_--

Tommy stood in the shower washing the dirt and grim away from his body.

It had taken him all damn day to finish cutting the yard. He was tired, and hungry. He just wanted to curl up in bed and dream about the good days with his mother, but he never slept really, he never trusted his day enough. He wondered if he could sleep here. He wondered if this was finally his place of peace some where he could have family and alittle piece of happiness. Shaking the thoughts from his head he bent over and turned the knobs to the water, turning off the water. Wringing out his rag he pulled back the shower curtain and stepped out of the tub. Looking around he noticed his clothes were gone, and so were the towels he could have sworn were hanging on the wall when he'd gotten in the shower. With a moments of hesitation he shielded himself to the best of his ability's with the small wash rag. Not knowing what else to do he open the door and went in search of his aunt. She was siting a the dinner table, wearing only a robe, her bowl already empty in front of her. She looked up when she realized he was there her face breaking out into a grin. She stood up and made her way towards him.

"I couldn't find anything to cover with...and you have my close."

"I told you Tommy, you have to earn you keep here, you earned your shower but you haven't earned your clothes or a meal."

Tommy stared at her dumb-founded. His stomach growled disturbed by the news. What else did she want him to do? Suzanne smiled at his confused look, he was so naive. Siting on the edge of the table she pulled open her robe, showing him exactly what she meant. As he realized what she meant Tommy stepped back, shaking his head. Her face hardened at once and she got back off the table closing her robe up.

"Are you tell me no?"

Tommy was still to stunned to ask her.

Suzanne shook her head at him her fury growing, he would pay four refusing her. She snatched the the wash rag out of his hand, "Go to bed" she sneered. once he was gone she washed her empty bowl and locked the rag with the others. Making her way into her room she smirked, he would come around, things would go her way. Pulling her robe off she threw it to the side where it landed in a puddle on the floor. Laying down she sighed as her naked body sunk into the black cotton seats. Her hand slid over her breast down, her fingers twirled around her nipple and her breath hitched. Just the thought of him bowing down to her was about to send her over the edge. And he would wow down it was just a matter of time. And the best thing about it was she wouldn't be forcing him, he would know when he came to her it was on his own free will, and he would have to to live with that. She laughed, turning over she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

Tommy walked slowly back to his room.

He couldn't believe this turn of events, was there one family member who didn't wanna fuck him?! He pushed the door open and froze, his bed and everything else was gone. There was just him and his room left. He was naked, it was cold and he had to sleep on the cold tiled floor...It seemed he only changed one hell for another.

.


	7. Chapter 7

**Prologue 7:**

**Illusions**

_Jude Harrison Age 16_

"Okay, turn to page 181 in you reading books page, William read for me please."

Mrs.Carson said as she made her way to the front of the class, walking between the rows of desk. But she stopped just alittle behind Jude's chair. A frown indented her face as she stared at the child's back. The slip of her dress had fallen slightly off of her shoulder. Even though it was a full dress Jude was so small that it kept sliding of her shoulders, she had gotten even smaller over the last year. She so busy day dreaming she didn't even notice that her dress had slipped alittle showing her latest bruise. Mrs. Carson knelled down beside her.

"Jude, can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?"

Jude nodded her head, instantly standing to do as her teacher ask.

"We'll be right back" Mrs.Carson told the class as they made their way out the door.

When they were in the hall Mrs.Carson kneeled before Jude again, "Is someone...hurting you?

Jude stood in shock, and confusion. Not understanding what had lead Mrs.Carson to that thought. At Jude's expression Mrs.Carson tried again. "I...I noticed the bruise on your back...is someone abusing you...? We can get you some help..."

Jude didn't know what to say, a part of her screamed for her to tall, to end it, but another part thought about her mother and sister, what would happen to her mother...would Sadie be upset with her...?

She didn't want her sister to hate her, she didn't want to hurt her mother that way. She shook her head feverishly, turning her back on Mrs.Carson she turned back and walked into class.

--**Two days Later**--

A knock came to the door, and Jude answered it.

A cop in uniform and a woman in a red suit with glasses stood in the door way. As if they'd heard the knock Victoria and Sadie came into the room, Jude went to stand beside Sadie as they watched another life changing moment about to happen. The people walked in uninvited and the woman handed Victoria a orange envelope while the cop made his way towards the girls.

"You must appear in court, we'll be taking Jude and Sadie harrison with us until futher notice."

Victoria stood in stunned silence as they pushed her kids out the door. Silence echoed through the house, tell her that she was truly alone.

--**A Month Later**--

Jude stood got of of the car, pulling her suitcase with her.

She stood in the middle of the street her suitcase at her side staring at her new 'home'. So this was a new chapter of her life, She wondered how this one would turn out. She turned around at the sound of foot steps behind her. Standing there was a boy around her age, was smiling at her. "Hi, I'm Hunter, I live in the boys home across the street" He motioned to the house behind him.

She smiled stepping back alittle, "Nice to meet you...I'm Jude Harrison."

_Thomas Quincy Jr. Age 18_

Tommy stood in the bathroom staring at his back in the mirror.

He could see the fresh marks his aunt had left in the mirror. His mind flashed back to the first time she had ever left marks on his back. It had been after a night of sex, and she had complained he hadn't pleased her long enough. She had him kneeled on the floor his wrist stretched out chained to post. He was naked and they had been out side, she'd said she wanted the heat to to glisten his skin so he'd feel it more. He hadn't known what she was talking about, but he learned fast when she pulled out her new 'toy' as she'd liked to call it.It was a piece of barb wire as long a stick it had a smooth wooden handle. She brought the barb wire down across his back and it cut deep, but the worse part was when she pulled back it took skin with it. The first blow made a scream erupt from his throat. The second and third made the tears come. The fourth and fifth had him begging for mercy. The sun did just as she'd wanted made his back glisten and he started to sweat, with made the cuts feel even worse. By the last twentieth he was sagging against the binds, slightly unconscious. She'd left him out there, his blood stained into his skin, his wounds still open, his wrist bound.

Turned turned back to face the mirror. He looked horrible, circles under his eyes from not sleeping. His body ached from sleeping on the cold hard floor in only a pair of boxers, in one year that's all he had earned...was a pair of damn boxers. How long would it be for the rest of his clothes?! He couldn''t do it any more, the humiliation, the knowledge. What would his mother think of him now...he was a whore selling his body for food. He closed his eyes bringing up an image of her in his head. She smiling at him, her blue eyes sparkled with love and her raven black hair blew in the wind. But another image enter his head, It was him and his aunt Suzanne, he was leaning over her his hips rocking, his cock thrusting into her body. She had a triumphant smirk about her as she stared up at him.

Tommy shook his head, clearing himself of all thoughts and memories.

He couldn't look himself in the mirror. His mother would be disappointed to see him this way, she would be disgusted by his actions. And he couldn't blame her, he was disgusted with himself. And it was only worse when Suzanne let his body climax. Then he was not only being forced to give his body to live, he was was taking pleasure from the experience which meant he was a truly fucked up person. He opened the cabnet his eyes searching, he had already made his decision. The self was filled with pills and women things, he would choose the pills but Suzanne had the water turned off so he couldn't drink water without her knowing, plus he didn't think he deserved such a neat death.

--**A little Later**--

Suzanne was searching for Tommy when she walked into the bathroom found him sprawled on the floor, he was on his stomach, there was a cut on his forehead, the wound slightly discolored. Blood pooled on the floor coating it with a luscious red. The most blood was beneath his arm but she couldn't tell if it was wounded. Rushing back to her room, she picked up her phone and dialed the ambulance, working the phone from hand to hand while she put on some actual real clothes. The little brat thought to leave her with a death on her hands?! She wouldn't let him have the pleasure, she'd then have alot of explaining to do, like the marks on his back. She had done nothing wrong, to her he deserved what he got, he displeased her so he'd deserved the beatings, he'd wanted to fuck her, had in fact begged her for it, now he thought to find a way out and stick her in hell?! The other line picked up and she gave her address.

--**Later**--

Tommy woke up to find himself in a hospital bed. Instead of his boxer he was now in a hospital gown. An IV was hook up to his arm, which was bandaged. It took him a moment to figure out what had happened, The bathroom, the blade, his arm, getting weak, his vision blurred, and him passing out. He rubbed his forehead, feeling the stinging bump, he must have hit his head on the sink. He looked around the room and his eyes landed on Suzanne, she was siting across the room in a chair, staring at him. Neither aid anything for awhile. And Tommy opened his mouth to speak just as the doctor came in. But he didn't let that stop him, he continued as if the man wasn't even there.

"When they release me, I'm leaving."

Her eyes said no, but they both knew things were different now, he wasn't on her turf any more, he wouldn't let her hold him down here. He wasn't miles away anymore, here he could leave and there was nothing she could do.

"Okay so, you're awake...how do you feel?"

Tommy slowly took his eyes off of Suzanne as he realized the doctor was talking to him. Putting his focus on the man in the white coat he said, "Yeah I just woke up, I'm okay...just a slight head ache and my arm feels horrible."

The doctor smiled, "Okay good, well just to be carful we'll keep you til tomorrow, and since you're 18 you can sign yourself out.

Tommy Looked and Suzanne the first time in a year he smirked, they both knew it was over.

**_Punished Sorrows _**

_Cut the wrist_

_Split the vein_

_Watch and count,_

_as time goes by,_

_spilling my blood._

_Listen just listen,_

_quietly now_

_to the tempo of death at a fast paste._

_See relief in my eyes,_

_and wait_

_just wait._

_For my flesh to cool_

_And my heart to stop._

_Tell me your words now that I did not wish to hear._

_4 punished sorrows are so near._

_I'm anticipating the void that's already here._

_Heaven or hell I truely don't care._

_Lock me away_

_I'm a disaster a horror you see._

_A temptation of hatred deep within._

_Curse the bones and the being of me._

_Bind my soul to chains behind the walls of agony._

_Hear my wails of pain and misery._

_But never stop the affliction I'm going through._

_4 theses are my sorrows_

**_My Punished Sorrows._**

**_By-Maurissa aka Akria_**


	8. Chapter 8

**Prologue 8:**

**Disillusion Illusions**

_Jude Harrison Age 18_

Jude stared at herself in the mirror, Her eye was swollen, the color around it a ugly blue and purple.

It had been two years three moths nine hours forty-six minutes and seven seconds since she'd first met Hunter. It had been a year and 2 months that's she'd moved in with him. It had been eleven hours since he last hit her. She'd been so happy to have met him, he'd understood her, he'd accepted her even with her sorrid past. He knew everything about her past and even though his had been way better than hers he made it seem as if he'd never thought himself better. They'd been through alot together. He'd known she didn't want a relationship, sexual or otherwise, but he hadn't agree with that He wasn't the person she had thought him to be at all. The whole year that they'd live across the street from one another, he had been sweet kind, listening to her problems, she had thought he was her friend. He being a year older than her moved first. When they turned eighteen foster care kicked them all out. She had no where to go though, she had no one, except Hunter her best friend. So when he asked her to move in with him she'd quickly agreed. But that had been a mistake. As soon as she'd moved in he'd taken it as if they were dating, and when she'd tried to tell him she didn't see him that way, he'd beat here, repeatedly til' she never uttered the words again.

She remember the very first time he had hit her.

It was a hard slap against the face. He'd kissed her and she'd said no. It simply made him angry, she had never seen the darken look that came across his face that day, before. But now she new it like her own body. She'd been so surprise so shocked. She shouldn't have been, she should have seen it coming. It was as if everyone wanted to hurt her, and she was stupid enough to trust them to do otherwise. The pain of that first blow had hurt her heart. She had thought her life had changed for the better that she now had someone to trust and believe in, but she'd been wrong so very wrong. Hunter liked to repeat her past, it was like some sick twisted game to him. He would repeat things others had already done to her, then he'd see if he could come up with something worse. She didn't want to fight anymore, the world had won, it wanted to break her down, it wanted to beat her, and it had succeeded.

The bathroom door swung open and Hunter stepped in behind her, wearing only a pair of boxers.

His lower body rubbed against her nightgown and she shuddered, she hated sex, it reminded her of primal animals, a male dog taking the body of a female, brutal harsh and uncaring. Her first time had been horrible and it just hadn't gotten better. Hunter smiled at her through the mirror, then kissed her neck. "I'm sorry baby...I won't do again. I will never put my hands on you again, you you just make me so angry some times, you have to stop doing that". Jude closed her eyes at the hollow promise. It was a lie they both knew it. He'd made the same promise countless times. She'd long ago started to think that this was what she deserved, to be beat, treated differently. It was all she knew, why would she think Hunter would be any different?

He turned her around to face him, his lips covering her, his tongue sliding in her mouth.

He was either unaware or didn't care that she didn't respond. Still kissing her he pushed her into the bedroom with his body. As his hands bunched in her gown pulling it up, she laid down on the bed and he leaned over her his hips resting between her thighs. Her gown was bunched at her thighs, she had no panties on, he didn't allow her to wear any. He pulled his boxers down letting them fall carelessly to the floor. He pushed her legs open wider and with a thrust of of his hips he entered her.

Jude's breath hitched, catching in her throat.

Her body ached, and she knew it would feel worse after they were through. She hadn't been at all in the mood to have sex, she wasn't wet at all and the feel of him sliding into her, the friction would make her sore for days. She already had this knowledge, she'd felt this pain countless time. Hunter's hands slid up her body over her arms and gripped her wrist, he pulled her arms up over her head, and locked her wrist against the bed. Jude felt as if she was about to have a panic attack. Her eyes filled with tears. He knew she didn't like when he did that, it always reminded her of John. She didn't like being on bottom and with her hands pinned like that it just brought the past right to her door.Her eyes glazed ove rand she lost herself in the pain.

She was taken out of her thoughts when Hunter finally finished.

Hunter leaned over her his hands finally letting her go. His body was covered in sweat. As he stared down at her he couldn't help but think she was beautiful, he had wanted her ever since he'd first met her. It had taken two years of holding back to be able to have his plan take affect. He use to sit up in his room watching her from across the street, she had never known that her window was right across from his. As he watched her undress for the night he'd thought of her being his, it some times scared him, his thoughts. It was as if he was obsessed with her, the things he pictured showed him how he wanted to hurt her. She'd tell him of her past and all the time he'd think of himself in her attackers place, beating her, hurting her. To him her skin was the perfect shade for bruises. And when she'd moved into his house he had known he could make that plan a reality, and he had. He kissed her neck then looked down at her his face blank. "Say you love me."

"I love you." she lied.

"Say you'll never leave me.."

"I'll never leave you." She felt a sudden urge to rub her shoulder, where he'd shot her the first last and only time she'd tried to leave and get away from him. He smiled down at her and kissed her on the cheek. No she would never leave him.

_Thomas Quincy Jr. Age 19_

Tommy moaned as he slid inside the girl.

Kneeling on her hands and knees, the only way he liked them. His hands gripped her hips And he trusted faster. After walking out on his aunt that day in the hospital he had never looked back, leaving town. He hadn't a any money to his name. So he'd gotten two jobs. Worked his ass off to make a living. Then a guy from a bank had called talking about needing a meeting with him. He later found out that his mom had left him a trust fund that he couldn't touch til' he was eighteen. Even knowing that all the money was in the bank he still hadn't touched it, he knew he didn't deserve his mothers money and he couldn't bring himself to touching any of it.

He'd bought himself an apartment.

At first he hadn't wanted anything to do with women, every time he tried to have sex with one, he couldn't do it, she would stare at him and he would see Suzanne's face. Then he'd found out that if he fucked them with their backs facing him, not looking at him then he could do it. Suzanne had always been a face to face kind of girl. He didn't want a relationship so finding whores made it way easier. They didn't ask questions, they didn't expect anything their money afterwards.

The girl turned her head to face him, smiling, and Tommy gave her a gruff turn around.

But it was too late, he could already picture Suzanne's smirking face in his minds eye and he instantly went cold, his body losing all lust. He felt dirty. Pulling out of her, Tommy, went to the trash can and threw the condemn away. Still naked he walked over to his wallet and pulled out two hundreds and held them out to the women who was getting of the bed. She quickly snatched the money from his hand slipping her dress back on.

As she made her out the door, Tommy sat down at the coffee table.

His eyes ran over the the objects on the table and he picked up the black band. He quickly tied it around his arm. Picking up the needle he gave it a a slight shake. Then tapped his finger against the vein in the middle of his arm. Positioning it, he pressed down on the needle injecting his body with the drug. After all the fluid had left the needle he let it drop to the table. Leaning his head back against the edge of the couch he gave a sigh, and let his mind take him away from the memories and the pain. This was life,and it was only hard-core facts.

**FANFIC VIDEO:** /watch?vOI2CHrK6Ymw


	9. Real Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

**A New Chapter**

_Style Of A Street Walker_

The feeling of the silky like cloth sliding over Jude's skin as she pulled on the knee high leggings made her skin crawl. The knowledge of why she was standing in front of the mirror raced through her brain. This is what her life had come down to, she'd been reduced to a common whore. Flipping her long red hair back she sighed looking at herself in the body length mirror. Her lips were a glossy pink. She had on a pair of black long high boots. She thought she would fall with the first step she took. She never been a high heels kinda gal any way. Maybe someone in heaven would show her mercy and she'd break her neck on the landing. She smirked liking the idea of spiting Hunter even if it meant her life. She quickly lost her smile as she look herself over in the mirror again, turning to the side. Her skirt was short, but she guess for the role she was about to explore it was how it was meant to be. What kind of whore would wear a long skirt. Oh she had hit rock bottom and even when she tired to forget the last two years of her life she couldn't so at the age of twenty she'd learned to just deal.

Hunter hadn't changed a bit over the years, if anything he'd gotten worse. He begun to gamble, and drink. He'd taken her with him every where never allowing her to get to far away from him. He lost all their money in gambling halls. Now they lived in a one room apartment, barely getting by, he didn't work, if she had to guess she'd say he thought she was gonna run off, but she'd learned long ago she couldn't leave, she didn't even have a place to go. So when all the money had gotten low or ran out he came up with the brilliant idea of selling her, or her body to be exact. Not wanted to risk letting her go off alone with some stranger and never coming back, he'd explored his options for awhile until he found out about Lovely Ladies. Lovely Ladies was much like a brothel. The women used it as a spot to be safe, men would come have sex with them and pay them and they didn't have to worry about being beaten or killed because the owner Lola had guards hanging around. But the only thing was you had to give Lola 15 of our money at the end of the night. Tonight was Jude's first night but Hunter had told her how things would run. When he'd come to her telling her this big idea she'd instantly balked and said no, but after the beating she took she'd quickly changed her mind. Over the last two years Hunter had got inventive with his beatings.

A knock at the door snapped Jude out of her thoughts. Turning to the side in the mirror again she frowned at her reflection and quickly jerked her skirt down again before heading to the door. The knock was insistent and loud making her quickly pull the door open. In the frame stood Hunter. He smirked taking in her appearance. Without a word he turned her every which way as if examining an object on display that he was about to purchase. After he was satisfied with his examination he turned her back to face him. His looks hadn't changed much, he was an attractive man at the age of twenty-one, his hair curling at his shoulders. His smile used to make her happy now they were rare and made her shiver. An unforgotten past of how things used to be. As the thoughts drifted away an insistent noise became aware to her brain. Her eyes refocused and she found Hunter's fingers in front of her snapping to get her attention.

"Earth to Judith, are you listening?!"

She wanted to slap at his hands but she didn't dare, instead she just waited for them to drop before speaking, " Sorry...I was thinking"

"Well you need to pay attention, you need to follow directions for tonight, this is for you."

Her face turned down into a ironic smile, "You speak as if I asked for this, this was never something I wanted for my life! I never wanted or asked to be a mans whore, but I guess that what I was meant for, to be sold for someone elses pleasure."

"Oh well, this is your life now, move on, grow up and deal with it. Tonight will be the first night of many, you stay in here, the client will come to the door, knock, and you'll let him, or them in." He stepped closer to her his hand catching her chin, "Don't disappoint me, we need this money, do you under stand?"

"Do you understand?!" He repeated when she didn't answer, his fingers digging into her skin.

"Yes." She whispered jerking her face from his hand.

Having the answered he wanted Hunter waked away, but stopped before the door, "You should be happy to do this for us, you know, I wouldn't ask it of you if there was a different answer." With his last word said he turned back and exited the room.

Tears filled her eyes at the sound of his words repeating themselves in her head. 'She should be happy!' Why would this make her happy, she was selling herself, it was like John all over again, hell it was like Hunter all over again. She was made to give her body to him, and in return he didn't beat her. Maybe that was a woman's worth, to be sold over and over again. Giving an angry swipe at the tear drops on her face Jude dropped down onto the couch. It was her guess that things had only begun.

_A Photo Says A Million Things_

Tommy pushed the doors of Lovely Ladies open and stepped into the building. It had been quit some time that he'd last come to the place. Over the last few years he'd been busy, riding the ground hard like a devil, he'd taken the music industry by storm. He was a hot shot producer for G-Major label, the best there was, and he was also working on his own solo album. He'd made his fame by singing on other people's albums, had built up his own fan base, and now the people wanted him to release something of his own so G-major cut a deal with him. At the age of twenty-four music was his life, he used it out his outlet It had taken the place of drugs in his world, and for that he was grateful. It drove him, and he refused to work with those who weren't the best, those who didn't really want, those who didn't breath it it, and live it. He didn't do it for the money. It was important to him so he was a pain in the ass with all his clients until they got it right. But at the end of the day they were thanking him for it.

The click-clacking of heels meeting rock hard floor broke through his thoughts and he looked up to see a woman standing in front of him. It was Lola , the owner of Lovely Ladies. She had a big smile on her face, but it wasn't one of those sweet smiles, instead it was the smile of a woman who had a past and now had a hard personality, it was a smile of life, one that showed how life could just kick you in the ass, but that you were a fighter and kept climbing. He imagined that his smile was the pretty much the same except alittle more twisted. He'd had a hell of a life. They gave a brief shake of hands, her gold bracelets clinking on meeting. Without saying a word she turned around and started to walk away. Knowing what she wanted he followed behind her. She wore a skin tight short black dress, and a pair of open toe black high heels. She led them into her office, a room he'd since plenty of times before. Pearl earrings dangled from her earlobes. Her brown hair curled and laid on her right shoulder. She sat down in a chair by the coffee table, and motioned him to sit on the couch across from her. She was a professional. From the look of her you'd never guess she ran a whore-house but the hard look of her eyes was what gave her away to him.

"So, we're glad you came back to our little astablishment" She said letting a smile cut across her mouth as she motion around the room.

"Yeah" He was a man of few words and he pretty much liked it like that, those who talk only hear noise.

Realizing this, Lola picked up the envelope that was laying on the coffee table.

"Well tonight is your lucky night, we got some new girls in just today." That was how Lovely's went, if you were a big spender you got to actually choose the girl, or girls you wanted. Lola handled all the real spenders and left the low raters to her assistant. Tommy was a big spender. She stuck her hand in the envelope and pulled out a hand full of small photos and tossed them on the table.

One picture instantly stood out to him. Leaning over he picked it up, cradling in with his forefinger and thumb. In the picture, posed like all the others was a red head. She lay on a bed facing the camera one arm propping her head and upper body up and the other rested on her head, connecting with the one beneath her. She wore a purple negligee, it was skin tight and thin strapped. The crystal design across the top drew attention to her breast, and he knew they'd be a perfect handful. Bangs lay across her forehead, and her hair was swept over her shoulder. She was beautiful, amazingly so. But it was her eyes that drew him, big eyes. They sparkled blue under the camera light, wide, and innocent. The look of sadness and pain was what held him mystified. They spoke so true of what he felt every day, an unmistakable living agony. An unforgettable past, present and fear of the future.

"I want her" His words were direct. There was no need to dally, no need to play around and beat behind the bush. She drew him, like a moth to a light. He hadn't been interested in anthing besides music for years, she was the first thing that had caught his eye and he found himself wanting to explore her even if it was for one night.

"Mmhmm, how long?" In Lovely Ladies you paid by the hour, they closed at midnight.

"The rest of the night"

Lola's brow rose at hearing his muttered words. Usually Tommy was an in and out kind of guy, he didn't dally long, so she hadn't expected him to say the whole night, and with one girl for the whole night no less. But pleasing the client tell was her job, so she didn't say anything just gave a sharp nod. After she'd quickly picked up the photos off the table and dumped them back into the bag she reached her hand out to retrieve the picture from him but he shook his head saying he would pay her later for it, which she didn't mind because she loved money. Nodding again they both stood up and she walked him out. At the door they shook hands again.

"The room is number one-twenty."

_Once Upon Two Strangers_

Tommy stepped up to room one-twenty, surprised that it was already open. As he stepped into the door frame his eyes ran over the decor of the room. It was small in size the walls a navy shade of blue. a vanity was set up in the right corner of the room. His eyes traveled on and stopped when the connected on the girl, the girl from the picture. She sat on the the couch, her head bow, her hair shielding her face. She looked to be wearing a school girl uniform. Oh yeah that fit, who wouldn't mind doing a catholic school girl he grimaced. She looked...young. She didn't seem to fit in this place, in this life. He thought she was meant for something bigger, but didn't understand why since he hadn't even exchanged words with her yet. Never one for patience he tapped on the door, and she quickly looked up with a gasp. She was truly beautiful, but in a unconsciously kinda why, and he liked that. He could see she had been crying, even as she swiped a hand across her cheeks. Her eyes, the amazing ones he'd noticed in the picture, were just as wide and mesmerizing as he'd first thought. Big eyes.

Jude's head jerked up when she heard the knock at the door. She gasped as she saw the person who took residence in the doorway. He was absolutely gorgeous! He was wearing a pair of alumni shoes, blue jeans, a plain white T, and a thick black leather jacket. For a second she even let herself wonder he would wear such expensive shoes with such laid back clothes, there was something emperous about him, not in a money kind of way but a never bow down to another kind of emperous. But then her gaze traveled up father to his face and she lost all thought processing on the matter. His eyes truly were a magnificent thing. They were an ocean blue, cold and warm all at the same time. Jude stood up wiping the last remaining tears with a shaking hand. She was starting to get worried. She didn't have feeling of desire, not with her history of sex, she didn't even like sex. But her body didn't seem to have the same thought processor as her brain because it was just buzzing with desire, wanting him to come closer. She tried to shake of the feelings, her mind taking on a travel of why a guy like him would come to a place like this. Her body tingled with joy even as her brain demanded that she run as the guy took a step towards her.

Spying the fear that entered her eyes Tommy gave her a smile. One of those charming, harmless, sexy kind of smiles. His meaning was to set her at ease.

"Is this your first time?" Even though he knew the answer to the question he still asked, wanting to hear her speak. But she only nodded her head so he tried again, "Are you worried...you seem worried."

Jude believed she'd lost her hearing the moment he stepped closer to her, for she didn't hear a word he uttered. His body crowded hers, close enough that his heat radiated around her. His head dipped and his lips stopped inches from here's...mere inches!...He smelled of sandalwood and expensive calone. She didn't understand her roller-coaster of feelings. The excitement and dread. The anticipation and trepidation. She didn't know why her heart sped or why her body demanded that he touch it. She found herself murmuring incoherent words as an answer to his earlier question. Her lips brushed against his, enough to fit the meaning that she she wanted it for him, his hand caught her waist as their lips connected. A change took place in that one moment, two lives of complete strangers had changed, never again to be the same. Unknown they both were as to how this one night would create their future, and change them for better or worse.

The kiss that started off as a brush of lips soon deepened. He ravished her mouth, his tongue stroking hers. Their bodies strained together, chest to chest, pelvis to pelvis. Tommy feared they would go up in flames from such a simple thing, and told himself to slow down. They had all night, his wanted this to last. He slowed the kiss, dragging it out. His tongue traced her lips before pulling the bottom into his mouth where he gently sucked nipped and licked it, savoring the taste of her. For some strange reason, ever since he'd seen her eyes in the photo, he'd felt a kinship with her. Her eyes showed pain and sorrow. The blue hues hid a secret passion and a person just waiting to rebel. And he wanted to be the one she shared that passion with. It was her eyes that made him want her, not her face, for he knew that once they'd started he wouldn't be able to look upon it again. He refused to risk it. Refused to let the chance of his haunting past, his aunt come between them.

His fingers rested just below her left ear as his thumb tilted and held her head up. His lips trailed across her cheek stopping to lightly nip her behind the ear then continued down her neck. Jude sighed in bliss, her hand cupping the nape of his neck, dragging him closer. Her body was a dough of putty in his hands. He backpedaled them towards the left till her legs hit the bed. But Jude went unnoticed of this fact her attention focused on his moving hands. As he unbuttoned her blouse his lips followed the trail his tongue swirling over her skin. But as soon as her back sunk into the cushion the panic instantly set in. She forgot where she was. Could only feel the weight on top of her. Her heart sped and she reacted.

Tommy was more then surprised when Jude began to scream and attack him. Her hands wailed connecting with his eye and on his high in the cheek. He'd feel it in the morning, hell he'd even have the marks to prove it. His hands locked around hers, trapping them to the bed so she wouldn't do him anymore bodily harm but that just made her efforts increase. Her screams grew louder and her body bucked trying to throw him from atop of her. Finally seeing no way around it Tommy let her free pushing up so he could get off the bed, but not before she did more bodily harm. As soon as she was free she slip from the bed, her hand holding her shirt closed. He took a tentative step towards her his hands in a peaceful placement, trying to let her know he intended her no harm.

He watched as she slowly became aware of where she was. Her eyes slid over the room til they landing on him. She let out a loud gasp her shaking hand covering her mouth as she saw the tiny scratches on his face and the slight redness around his eye. "Did I do that to you?!" Instead of answering her question he just shrugged. It had hurt, but she seemed upset about it. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to. I just...when we..." But she didn't have to finish he knew what she meant. She had been raped. Someone had hurt her. "It's just...I don';t like being beneath someone...it makes me feel...helpless..."

He didn't let her finish her rant, it was needless. He understood. He had felt the same way for so long. Even though his thing wasn't being held down, the act of sex still haunted him. "If you want me to leave..."

His words sent another rush of panic though Jude. Now that her mind was clear and she was able to think again she knew his leaving would be a bad thing. Hunter wouldn't like that she hadn't completed the job. He'd be furious with her. Before she could stop herself she launched at the unaware Tommy. She pressed her lips against his and his mouth parted in surprise. Of their own accord, his arms wrapped around her wait and he kissed her back. He didn't prolong the moment this time, fearing someone, or something would stop them. His hands peeled away her blouse that he once before left opened. He carelessly let it drift to the floor with a groan of satisfaction as she saw that she wore nothing beneath. There hands wove around each other, while she unbuttoned his shirt, and he worked to get rid of her skirt. It was as if they had practiced it a million times and knew what the other would do. After their clothes was taken care of, Tommy mimicked his earlier actions his lips trailing down her skin.

He placed a soft kiss on the swell of her breast. Jude let a puff of air out of her slightly open mouth, little shock waves settling over her body. Tommy watched as rose pink tips of her breast rose, brushing against his lips beckoning him. And he couldn't stop himself from answering their plea, the tip of his tongue flicked teasingly across the peak. Then he caught the bud between his lips and drew it into his mouth. It was actually his first time doing anything like that. He made no exception with sex, he never let a woman face him during intercourse. It was just one of his ways of surviving. Until now. Until her. There was something about her that made him wanna try new things, things he'd never let himself experience before. His tongue played against her, suckling, his teeth lightly scraping. She gave low moan her fingers losing themselves in his hair as she held him to her body. He wanted to lay on the floor and take her body amongst their clothes but he wouldn't do that, instead he sat on bed and pulled her down on top of him so that she straddled his body.

_My Calling Card_

Jude woke up alittle after midnight. She blinked the sleep clear from her eyes only to open them again to see a male's back. Well half of his back. He was in the process of pulling his shirt back on. It took a minute for her mind to remember the last couple of hours, it was mostly her body that gave her the clues of what had happened, and by that time the guy had turned around. A smile spread across his face and oddly she found it contagious, one of her own spreading across her face. She sat up in the bed tipping to the edge of the bed, wrapping the wrinkled white sheets around her body. She felt...wonderful yet dreadful. Her body felt exquisite even though it ached in parts she hadn't even known she had, but it was a good ache so she didn't mind much. But the dread came from knowing that it wouldn't last, that he would walk out the door and she'd never see him again. She experience something to treasure but to go back to the way things used to be would make it hurt even more. But that wasn't her life she didn't have happy endings, it seem she was to be teased with the good stuff and leave the bad.

She looked up as she saw the shadow rest over her, though the rules stated that Lovely Ladies closed at midnight, they'd fallen asleep, he'd said that Lola wouldn't mind. The thought of never seeing him again made her sad and it was on the tip of her tongue to ask him if he was coming back but she didn't want to deplore herself for something she knew she couldn't have. So when he brushed a kiss across her forehead whispering a quick good-bye before walking out of her room she did her best not to care. Giving a sigh at her own melodrama she was about to lay back down when her eyes caught sight of a piece of paper on the coffee table in the middle of the room. Still holding the sheet around herself she got up and slowly dragged her way to the mid-point of the room. On the coffee table she found money, a note. As she scanned the two sentence not she couldn't help but smile.

_Thanks for everything, you did more than you'll ever know._

_If you ever need help or just wanna talk call me._

_--Tommy Quincy_

She looked up from the piece of paper to the door, wishing he would step back through it.

But lady luck really wasn't on her side. Tommy. His name rolled off her tongue with a bitter-sweetness. And even though she had no intention of calling him, she was happy he'd thought of her enough to leave the note behind. Something told her that her life was about to change again. She was about to start a whole new chapter.


	10. Chap 2

**Chapter 2:**

**The unexpected**

The rapid pounding of a heart-beat, the click clack of a fast pacing walk, the screams of frustration, and fear all mixed into one occupied Jude's mind at the moment. As she paced back an forth the frantic tapping of shoes meeting hard tiled floor is what kept her mind at bay. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. Of all the rotten luck...She told herself to calm down, to take a breather. But at the moment she was finding it hard to even catch her breath. She gave another short pace to the left of the room and stopped to check the clock. It was time. She dragged her feet as she talked back to the counter of the lady's room. With a soft inhale then exhale, she bit she bottom lip and picked up the home pregnancy stick.

In her world time stopped as she read the results.

The test fell from her lifeless fingers. She was pregnant! How could she be pregnant?! The last time she had sex...She had to stop and count...Two months ago. With...him. Her first night at Lovely's. Since then for some reason Lola had stopped her from taking clients. She hadn't told Jude or Hunter why, not that he cared, Lola gave him a small percentage to not pressure Jude into taking clients. And as long as he had enough money to gamble drink and live the night life he didn't care way or the other. Jude was happy that she didn't have to have sex with anyone, but the realist in her wondered why Lola would pay for her not to have sex when that was what Lovely's was all about.

She couldn't be pregnant!

That's all there was to it. It was some kinda of mess up with the test. She looked over at the other test, luckily when she'd gone into the little quick-mart store across from Lovely's, with Erin following her every step of the way, Erin was a mean little something that Hunter set to watch her, she'd stolen two pregnancy test. She felt really bad about have to still, even felt bad about tricking little miss Erin so she wouldn't notice what was being stolen. She promised herself one day she would pay the store back. Hoping it really was just a glitch in the first test she walked over to the second one only to find the same pink lines. She was pregnant!

This could not be happening to her.

It had to be some sick twisted nightmare. What was she going to do with a child? She couldn't take care of herself much less a child. She had no money, she was a whore, and she had an abusive...owner. She couldn't even bring herself to call him her boyfriend, in truth she'd never even condoned to committing to him. Hunter! The thought of him made her queasy. What if it was a boy, he'd teach her child to be like him! What if it was a girl, he'd abuse and mistreat her, probably make her become a whore or something worse. Oh god, what if he didn't let her have the baby, he'd take joy in making her lose it. As the thought of all the creative ways he could accomplish this ran though her head, Jude made a run for the toilet. As she emptied the contents of her stomach her hand laid against the cold floor holding her up, her back arched as she tried to keep from making a mess. The last thing she needed was for Hunter to ask her any questions. After she was done she rinsed her mouth out and washed her face at the sink. What was she gonna do?

A loud knock at the bathroom door shook her from her troubled mind.

She heard Hunter's voice yelling her name through the wall. She almost didn't answer it but she knew things would be worse if she ignored him. Not wanting him to know of her pregnancy she dumbed the test and their containers in to the trash throwing napkins over them to to be on the safe side. She was greatful that she'd done both things because when she opened the door he came right in pushing her back to enter the one stall room.

"What are you doing in here?" He demanded, but didn't even give her time to continue. "I have good news...you're going back to work."

"Bu..."

"I don't give a damn what Lola says, I need the money."

"What, the percentage Lola's giving you isn't enough to lose in the gambling hall..." As the words left her mouth she wished she'd never uttered them. The force of the blow that landed on her cheek knocked her to the floor. She was glad it was just a slap and she'd landed on her bottom instead of her stomach. She didn't know anything about kids so she didn't know what would hurt it yet. Her hand cradled her cheek she knew it would only leave a small bruise, most likely on the high rise of her cheek bone. Hunter kneeled down in front of her leaning on his tip of his feet instead of on his knees, his legs slightly spread.

"Were you questioning me?" His voice was hard and cold, feeled with anger. Knowing what was expected Jude gave a frantic shake of her head no. He tsked his finger coming up to play with a strand of her hair. "Thats disrespectful sweety, I didn't teach you to be disrepectful now did I?" He looked totally calm and sweet as he said the words, his voice a soft wisper, but Jude wasn't fooled she shook her head again. "Good...Good" He removed her hand from her cheek and replace it with his thumb, rubbing the skin as if trying to soothe her. "You know how I get when I'm angry, you know not to make me angry. It's okay, you'll figure it out one day. Now about you going back to work tonight..."

"I...can't"

Gone was the nice boy act, his eyes instantly turned to steel and his voice became cold again at her words. "What do you mean you can't?"

"I can't..." She thought of the first lie that came to mind. "Its that time of the month..." He looked as though he wanted to beat her right there on the spot. She feared he would do just that but instead he stood up and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Jude also stood up, rising slowly on shaken legs with a sigh of relief. As she stepped out of the bathroom, she found Erin waiting in the hall. She didn't say a word to the woman ignoring her as if she wasn't even there and made her way down the hall back to her room. She know the woman didn't expect to come in so as soon as she enter she shut the door behind herself.

What was she gonna do?

She couldn't stay with Hunter. And even though she remembered the last time she'd tried to escape, the trepidation of having to wait til he fell asleep, the pounding of her heart as she slipped out of the bed, the motion of her body being silent as she slipped into her night gown trying to rush, the triumph of almost reaching the main door, the fear and horror of hearing the click of the gun and the tsk of Hunter's voice behind her, the rush of adrenaline and she turned to flee only to feel the searing pain of the bullet tearing though her leg a moment later. Remembering this, even fearing it would happen again she couldn't stay. She had a child to think about now. She late her hand atop of her flat tummy. She had to survive for her baby now.

As she asked herself the question of what she was gonna do again her eyes strayed to the night draw.

She couldn't! She bit her lip, consider what would probably be a big mistake on her part. Two months ago she put the note in her dresser draw. Even though she'd had no intention of calling the number she hadn't been able to bring herself to throw it away. Now she was happy she hadn't. Maybe if she pleaded her case he'd help her. Then when she got on her feet she'd never bother him again. But what if he turned out just as bad or worse than Hunter. Could she chance it? What choice did she really have? She only needed a little help she didn't need him to take responsibility for the child, just needed to get away from Hunter and without any money or any friends she couldn't do it.

With a sigh if dread, she made up her mind.

She opened the drawer pulled the piece of paper out an sat on the bed. She sat in the spot a full twenty minutes trying to think of another way but didn't come up with one. With another resigned sigh she picked up the phone. She hoped Lola didn't have the phones on a recorder. She knew that the bill for whatever calls you made were paid when you ever you paid your percentage to Lola, but she didn't plan on being there long enough for it to be a big deal. As her fingers pressed the numbers her mouth went dry and her heart pounded within her chest. What if he refused to help her? What if he was worse than Hunter? What if he was better...she couldn't afford to fall in love. Love wasn't real, it was an excuse, a thing of imagination. Her fingers clutched the handle of the phone holding it to her ear, and they only tightened when the ringer started. After five everlasting rings the phone was answered and a gruff "Hello" greeted her ears.

Tommy was hard at work working on his latest clients song.

It had been two longs months since that night. He'd planned on going back, had wanted to go back. But the next morning he'd been called by the company, some crises with one of the artist album that needed to be taken care of, so he'd flown back to Toronto. And she hadn't called. He didn't know why he thought she would. Hell he didn't know why he wanted her to, he didn't want or need a relationship. He just couldn't explain it. He'd even gone as far as paying Lola to keep her from other clients. And Lola always demanded top dollar, but he thought it was worth it. He planned to fly back in the morning and stay the weekend.

The insistent sound of his phones ringer broke through his easy made concentration. He picked up the phone looking at the caller I.D but it was a number unknown to him. ending the music he spun around in his chair so that his back was facing the mixing board. Flipping open the phone he gave a gruff "hello".

The voice that answered had a sweet tilt, with a small high pitch of hesitance and trepidation. But it was the words that held his sole attention. "I'm pregnant!"


	11. Chronicles Of The Past

_Okay so there's alot of important information in the past of this story. It effects the present. It would be hard for me to fit all the past in detail in the story so I came up with an idea call the Chronicles of the past. Chronicles of the past is basic all the stuff that happened in the past lol. So you'll get Marie & Thomas relationships past (which is really important), Thomas and Robert's past (also important) some more of Jude/Tommy's past. Basically every ones past lol. This is the first installment -Akria-_

**Chronicles Of The Past**

_A). Marie De Toni (Later became Marie Quincy) Age 18, & Thomas Quincy (De Toris) 18_

Walking the halls of Stadium Lee was an experience for Marie De Toni.

The students were like the wild, the fierce Jungle. The popular kids were the kings and queens and she, she was at the bottom of the chain. She didn't even qualify to be a animal form the animal kingdom. She was a pure geek at heart. Smarter than her present peers. She didn't have time for make-up jocks, or after parties. Not that her parents would ever allow it. They probably kill over if she stayed out pass ten. School was important to her. Good grades and brains was something she wanted for her future children. But even so, there was only one guy she wanted to bare children for. To bad he was the most popular, the high of the high, the king of kings. Yeah, she was a big dreamer. With a sigh she switched her arms full of books to the other side of her body.

Thomas Quincy was so busy laughing at the comment his friend had made that he didn't relize he was about to knock into someone until it was too late. Papers and books went flying, and a low screech of a female echoed through the hall as everything hit the floor with a smack, including her bottom. He heard his friends howl with laughter but wasn't paying any attention. He was in fact caught up in the person he had ran into. Her...Marie. She'd scurried to kneel on the floor, her hands moving quickly to pick up her belongings. He bent down to help her but found himself just staring at her instead. Her raven black hair had fallen out of her loose bun and now framed her face. She wore a white dress with yellow sun follows, and in that moment the flowers became his favorite.

"Um...can you hand me my glasses?"

The sweet tilt of her soft voice broke him out of the trance of watching her.

His gaze traveled the path of where she was pointing and found her glasses beside his knee. He picked them up carefully as if he held the most fragile things in his hand. He looked back up at her, seeing her eyes as they truly were, an ocean blue. "You were them for reading?" She bit her lip and answered with a nodd of her head. "Here you should wear them like this them..." He slid the glasses on top of her head so that the pushed back her hair from her face. "And when you need them just push them down over your eyes." She smiled showing her pearly whites her hand coming up to touch the glasses in the same spot he'd just held them. They would have stood there all day smiling at each other if not for his group of friends.

Robert, his brother, put his hand on his shoulder and the group pushed him forward past Marie.

He looked back at her to find her staring at him. He was able to say sorry, before the boys had him around the corner and completely out of site.


	12. Character Profiles

_**O**kay, I guess I jumped the gun. Some of you guys may not remember some of the people from the prologues. I created character profiles to refresh your memory. So those of you who don't know who Marie was...Well her name id on this list. -Akria-_

**Character Profiles**

**Jude Harrison: Main Char**  
Present age, 20. Her life changed the first time she saw her father molesting her older sister. Then became even worse when her mother startted to beat her for her fathers cheating habit. It hit the next level when her father died in a car accident and her mother started drugs. She was raped by her mother's drug dealer. She started cuting at the age of 15. When things were discovered about her home she was sent to foster care, where she met her first friend, Hunter. But he wasn't as sweet as she'd thought, he stayed cool for 2 years, planning, obssessed with her, and when he got her to move in with him he took advantage. She has a problem with sex, she can't be held down and doesn't like the feel of being on the bottom. She is unaware of her musical talents. Unaware that she has the voice for greatness.

**Thomas Quincy Jr. Main**  
Present age, 24. His life took a bad turn when his mother was killed by his father who continues to beat him their after and blames him for the death. His family is one twisted sickness, his uncle tried to molest him, but his father walked in and beat him. He was kicked out of school for fighting at the age of 16. He was then sent to live with his aunt who starts to molest him and do many other unspeakables. At 18 he tries to take his own life, but failed and was released two days later. He walked out on his Aunt. Living on his own he finds he has a problem with sex, he can't do it w/o the girl not facing him. He does drugs to forget and mellow the pain.

**Sadie Harrison Main**  
Present age, 22. Her life became confusing when her father first molested her. She ashamed of who she is, finds it hard to deal with the past. Her life should have been one filled with joy, she got everything she wanted, but it was at the cost of her sister Jude. Her and Jude were close yet so distanced. Her mother tried to put a wedge between them and on some levels succeded. She has a problem with sex, she assoicaiates it with love.

**Stuart Harrison Side**  
Present age, dead. His life became twisted when he walked in on his oldest daughter getting out of the shower. She was only the age of 7 when him and his wife started to argue and he found himself fantasising about her. He quickly moved on to touching her when no one was paying attention then to going to her room at night where he'd releave himself watching her sleep. but he moved on to full sex with her as when she was 7 and a half, telling her this washow a daughter showed her father she loved him. A few months after she turned 8 his youngest daughter Jude walked in on them. He stopped molesting his daughter in fear that his wife would be told. But he still found himself wanting his daughter, and his wife was never home so he moved on to other women. He was unaware that he was caught one night. His wife started to beat his only child Jude, he didn't know Sadie wasn't his. He felt as if he shoul protect Jude so she'd keep his secret. He was killed in a car accident.

**Victoria Harrison Side char.**  
Present age, 43. Her life became a world of anger the first time she saw her husband cheat on her. She wanted vengance, but instead of taking down Stuart, she went for his daughter, the one he was being so sweet to, Jude. Whenever angry she would beat Jude, but Stuart would get in the way, so she had him killed by an old friend. But a favor had to be returned to that friend and she wound up on drugs. Her anger became worse and she started to have Sadie also beat Jude. When she ran out of money, she sold Jude to her dealer, for a day of sex.

**Hunter Khan Side**  
Present age, 21. His life became about Jude Harrison the first day he met her. He instantly became obseesed with her, watching her at night, running off those who would befriend her. He worked to stay her only friend for two years, gained her trust and had her move in with him. When she did he took full advantage, and made his fantasies about her come true. He what he wanted to her, when he wanted. And when she tired to get away, he shot her, making her fear ever leaving him again. He vow he would never let her go, alive

**Johnathan Whright Side**  
Present age, 44. His life intertwined with the Harrison the night Victoria called him to have her husbands breaks cut. A drug dealer and ex. friend of Victorias. He has sex with his clients until they get to far in the drug life then he moves on to their family members. He enjoys abusive sex. And on the night of his visit with Jude he would full advantage

**Thomas Qunicy Sr. Side**  
Present age, 46. His life became to much for him when he left for the army, when he came back he was a different man. He saw no wrong in his doings and even though he never cheated on his wife, the thought never even crossed his mind, he beat her. He thought her to have cheated on him when left for the army, because when he came back, he discovered she'd given birth to Thomas jr. He hates his son with a passion wished he'd never been born. He accidently killed his wife one night. And from then on pledged to ruin Tommy's.

**Marie Quincy Side**  
Present age, dead. Her life was one of of sorrows, her family disowned her because she married Thomas Quincy Sr. But she didn't mind because she had love. But her life changed when her husband left for the army, bent on making a better life for the both of them. The night he left, they made sweet love and she became pregant, her letters never got to him for plenty of unimportant reasons so when Thomas came home, he thought her a cheater. They were never the same again. She dedicated her life to her son, loving him, teaching him, protecting him even the day she died.

**Robert Quincy(Bob) Side**  
Present age, dead. His life held many ghost, and secrets that lead him to the man he was. The child molester he had become. He tried to molest his nephew Tommy. But his bother caught him. He got drunk and caused the acciednt that killed himself and Stuart Harrison.

**Lola Side**  
Present age, 34. Her life became one of sex when her father sold her to a local brothel owner. After her owner when she was the age of 21 he left her his brothel. The thing she hated so much became her lifes work. Shes fair to her clients, doesn't force anyone to stay at her emstablishment. She prides herself on being a realist, its a job, nothing personal.

**Erin Side**  
Present age, 22. Her life is one of pure selfishness. Greed resides in the deepest part of her soul. She was envious as a child. Shes simply the type of person who will do anything for a quick buck, or to see anyone else in pain. She finds herself attracted to Hunter upon the first meet, falling quickly into bed with him. So when he asked her keep an eye on Jude and report back to him, she had no problem doing as he asked. It was an added bonus that he even paid her a small precentage.


	13. Chronicles Of the past pt2

**Chronicles Of The Past**

A)._Marie & Thomas's Relationship Part 2 Marie De Toni (Later became Marie Quincy) Age 18, & Thomas Quincy (De Toris) 18_

His feet paced back and forth across the bathroom tiles. His body was restless, his mind filled with anticipation and worry. He bit the tip of his finger nail , a crease centered in the middle of his forehead gave away his concentracion. His mind was only on one thing and it certainly wasn't on school. His thoughts were centered with her...Marie De Toni. He been silently crushing on her ever since grade school. But when ever he got near her he made a fool of himself, like running into her. He been so busy staring at her one day that he'd ran straight into on of his friends lockers. He always found some kind of way to make a speckle of himself in front of her. He who could have any girl in Stadium Lee couldn't stop making a complete ass out of himself in front of the one he did want. He stopped pacing long enough to look at himself in the mirror, imagining he was seeing her instead. "Let's date..." No to abrasive. He tried again. "I've fallen for you Marie..." He shook his head, rolling his eyes in frustration.

He probably would've have tried again but he heard his friends voices outside the door. Walking out the restroom he found the group of guyss leaning against the wall.

"Oh, Thomas" Sandy haired Jake called out to him. It was an uneeded call, fore the boys weren't standing that far from him, just bettween the girls and the boys bathroom. Thomas shuffled his way over to the guys, some times he wished he had never choosen this group to hang out with, but his brother had been drawn to being a jock, and Thomas always stayed with his brother.

"You are truly funny Thomas my friend. 'Oh I'm so sorry' he mimicked Tommy's words form just yesterday when he'd tripped and spilled his drink all over Marie.He really was a fool around her. She'd been so sweet, claiming it was her fault for being in his way, when the truth was he'd been staring at her so hard he had miss stepped.

"Truely classic Tom, you've done so many things to that girl its a wonder she doesn't run from you." It wasn't like he did it on purpose. "You can't really like her though dude, shes a freak"

He hated when one of his peers got it in their head that they were better than anyone else. He never understood it. Just because they were popular didn't mean they were better. A gasp drew him from his thoughts to the girls bathroom. There stood Marie her books bundled in her arms staring at him with tears in her eyes. She didn't say a word to either of them just stuck out her chin with pride and walked away. Pushing Jake with a rude name calling of jack-ass he followed behind her.

"Marie...Marie wait."

He didn't catch up to her until she made it outside. "Marie..." She didn't let him finish snapping around to glare at him."What! You're sorry that I'm a freak, that you guys think you're better than me?! And to think I...Ugh! You're always sorry, sorry sorry sor..." But this time he inturrupted her, but with a kiss instead of words. She forgot that she was angry, that she'd been hurt by his friends words and just relaxed against him. He pulled back alittle his hands still cupping her face. "I am sorry, but I didn't say it, I don't even think like. I far from think you're a freak. I in fact like you...alot." She smiled up at him holding her books tighter. "I like you too...alot"


	14. Chapt 3

**Chapter 3:**

**Skipping Town**

"_Making a dash for it_"

"I'm pregnant!" Maybe that hadn't been the most tactful way to tell the guy the news but hey what was she to do, play around the bush drag the conversation then say "Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant...". It had been two days since she'd said those two short most powerful words. They were right up there with I have AIDs and So-&-so is dead. She didn't think there were there were as important as those. And what a conversation starter that had been. After she'd explained she was from Lovelys, it was embarrassing how they hadn't even exchanged names that night. It didn't take him long to click together the pieces, but instead of calling her Jude he'd called her Big eyes, his voice calm and sweet. She was horrified and he sounded...calm, as if she'd told him the opposite instead of 'I'm pregnant'. At first she thought he didn't know the baby was his but when she'd told him it was he assured her that he knew. He knew! How would he know something like that she was a whore, and whores slept with alot of people. She'd even made sure he was aware of this fact but he just gave a short husky laugh in return.

He wanted to meet her somewhere. She'd demanded some where private in fear that Hunter would discover her plans. Tom preferred to have met met that night of the phone call but she'd wanted a few days to think thinks over so she'd agreed to meet him two days later at the Banks Hotel. That was the reason she was now throwing her belongings into a bag...which wasn't much. Either way with help or without, she had to get away from Hunter. She feared the future but she also feared the present. She had no other way, no one whom she could turn to, she could only trust herself. After her last garment was in the bag it snapped together with a clacking sound letting her know the deed was done, signifying it was time to move on to something new.

Slinging the bag over her shoulder she opened the room door cautiously, checking left and right for Erin who sent on an errand to get something to eat. She was surprised that the girl had readily agreed, usually she had to be begged. She didn't think on it long though, instead just took it as luck. Giving one more short look to the left she made her way to the right. Even though she wanted to make a mad dash for freedom, she walked pacing her lengths out so she'd go faster and not draw attention to herself. Only after she got of the building did she speed her pace to a slow dash, unaware that Erin was watching her as she did so.

_"Meeting Spot..."_

A black convertible raced down main street it's driver contemplating the passing days. Two days ago he'd given the perfect impression of calm, but in truth Thomas Quincy Jr. was anything but calm. A kid! His kid. He was petrified...but also ecstatic. He who had never even wanted a relationship with a woman was about to embark in the land of fatherhood. He had always wanted a child someone to hold, and call his own. Some one who would love him. Some one he could trust, even if for just a little while. But as much as he was happy with the thought of a child in his life he was also terrified of the prospect. He was one fucked up individual, the last thing he needed was for someone to pick up that vibe. He liked to pretend his past never happen, but it was near impossible defiantly when he couldn't get any sleep because of the past rearing it's head through his dreams. Plus, what did he know about children, he'd never really been around any, had never even held one. How could he, who had never had a father of his own, be a father? And those facts were the least of his problems.

With a child came the child's mother. What would he do with big eyes.....Jude. He didn't want a girlfriend, or a wife. He'd survived by never letting people to close to him and something in those big blues told him that she was dangerous to his way of surviving. He could insure her financially, but never emotionally. He would never let it get that far, there was only so much trust you could put in a person and he wasn't willing to even give it a try. Most people, men, would not believe the fact that this child was his. They would see her as a common whore, someone bought and sold from day to day. But he was one unable to judge, for he had his own dark past. He knew how it felt to sell your body, your soul, your being for that one moment of peace. He knew what it felt like to crawl, to beg, to please but tricked in return. No he didn't need any test to tell him what he already knew. No matter if the child was blood of his blood, he would treat it as if was so. It was pure refusal to watch suffering when it could easily be avoided.

Pulling into the parking lot he shut off the car and sat unmoving. Laying his head back against the seat he let out a long shuttered sigh. His life was about to yet change again. For better or for worse he was about to become responsible for another life. Stilling his finger that drummed against the steering wheel he took the time to collect himself, calming his features. With a false nonchalant shrug he pulled on a pair of sun-glasses and slipped out of the car. His pace was one that belied his calmness. His feet ate up the ground beneath him, taking him closer to yet another one of life's changes. When his made it to the front of the hotel he stopped staring though the glass. There she sat, Her head bent over her knees, her elbows resting on her thighs. And even though her hair hid most of her face, he could tell that she was watching everyone in the was as if she suspected everyone surrounding her. Tommy frown at the realization. He'd been exactly like that after he'd left his aunt. She wore a lose fit black dress. Her hair was slight wind blown, and messy in just the right places. Grabbing the door handle Tommy let out one more sigh and open the the door, letting himself into the hotel lobby.

_"Let's talk it out"_

Jude looked up, her body tense to run, as the shadow of a body fell over her.

She had feared it would Hunter stand so near to her, but instead there _he _stood, all decked out in black. His face was a calm wall with a half smile that she couldn't bring herself to respond to. How could she smile when her world had yet again been turned upside down? How could she smile when she was yet again trusting her whole being to another man? And could she smile when she had nothing and no one and her child would be born into this world?! No she didn't really feel like smiling, but the fact that he did made her feel a little calmer, a little rational. He put his hand out to help her up, but it seemed like so much more than that to her. It felt as though it was a choice of life; if she took his hand, now at this one moment she'd be putting herself in care, in his hands so to speak. If she refused to take his hand it would be as if saying that she refused to give him a chance, to agree to his help, to trust another person with her life. And she had every reason to refuse, to say and even slap the hand away but she as he stood there just watching, not demanding one way or the other, she found herself reaching for his hand, reaching for his help, his trust .

Once she had grasped his hand she felt as though she couldn't let go.

Her fingers clutched his, slightly crushing, demanding that he didn't turn out to be like all the rest. It was hard to expect a stranger to be a decent person when your whole family had betrayed you. It was hard to keep hope and yet she did. To give up hope was as good as giving up life to her and even though some times she wished for death to have its way with her she knew she wasn't strong enough to take her own life. She let her thoughts drift apart as they finally stopped in front of what she guessed was his car. She could it was expensive without even knowing its model. From the sleek shininess of its lustrous black color she could tell he was a man who loved cars. As the passenger door pulled open she threw her bag in the backseat ; it wasn't until that moment that she realized she would have to let go of his hand. It was something she still didn't want to do, but she knew not to get too attached to him, she refused to deal with another man for so long again.

As she slid into car, the cool feel of the seat surprised her, sending chills up her spin.

She didn't ride in cars much; Hunter preferred to take the bus. After years of being squished between a window and a hard male body, it felt good to have the freedom of a seat to herself. The last time she really remembered being in a car was when her father died. It had been one of those life changing moments that she doubted she would ever forget. The sickening fear that death was just a mere second away, the realization of a mothers hate. She could still see it all, the swerving off the road , the bulk of the tree, the fear the pain. But what was worse was waking up in the hospital to find her mother leaning over her with that twisted smile. Victoria had ripped the IV from Jude's arm, her hand clamped over the girl's mouth so no one would hear the scream of pain, telling her how much she hated her for not dieing as she should have. But it had been Victoria's eyes that struck fear into her heart, the eyes that silently told her father was dead, that there was no more protection, and Victoria would take full advantage of that fact.

"Hello…hello…"

Jude shook herself from the past realizing _he_ was trying to get her attention. "Oh…sorry, I was just lost in thought…"

"Are you okay, you look a little pale."

"I'm fine, its just…fine." She tried to give a smile to reassure him, but from the expression on his face she could she'd failed completely. Thankfully he didn't call her on it though.

"Well, I guess I should _formally_ introduce myself, I'm Tom, but friends call me Tommy."

"Is that short for Thomas?" She asked ignoring the way he stressed the word formally.

His eyes slashed at her for a moment showing a uncontrolled anger at had her pressed back against her seat, then he turned his eyes back to the road , his jaw clenched. "No, it's not. I don't like that name, don't ever call me by it."

Silence filled the car, tense and thick, before just finally clear her throat and replied, " Jude Harrison…..Tom."

He knew she used the name Tom as a formal communication, in her own way letting him know she didn't want them to be friends. He didn't mind that fact in the least, it made things a little easier for him. He also knew he'd reacted wrong to her question. It was just, even after all the years hearing the name still infuriated him. His finger played a soft rhythm against the steering wheel as he glanced in her direction every half of a minute. Unaware of his scrutiny she sat with her hands clenched in her lap her head turned towards the window, clearly he had been dismiss. Or so it seemed until her soft voice fluttered through the air between, her words straining to meet his ear.

"Shouldn't we talk about this?" It was indeed a good question. They had yet to speak of what they would do, where the equal grounding lye. Things would need to be spoken, rules decided, and a firm partnership formed. "I want to thank you for helping me, even though I'm a complete stranger to you. Once I get on my feet I'll be out of your hair, I promise."

"That won't be necessary, I could never trust a stranger with my child." It was the truth, after Suzanne he didn't trust women . To be abused, and humiliated as he had been when he was a child only led to distrust and suspension. He knew there were women like his mother out in the world but he wouldn't chance it with his own child.

"But after a while you'll get to know me…"

"Its not up for debate, I want to be apart of this life. You need help, you have no money, no place to go, and you're clearly unhealthy," he said referring to her small size.

"But…" the shake of his head stopped her from continuing the argument, but she decided to bring it up again later when he knew her a little better. "Okay, I don't want a…physical relationship…" Even though a part of her feared he wouldn't like that fact, she forced the words past her lips any way. It was better to know now what she was dealing with. Even though the night they'd…spent together had been great, the thing she'd in fact only dreamed of, she couldn't let the pretense of a physical commitment fool her. And to have a repeat of that night every day would indeed fool her into thinking what they had was more than it really was. They had nothing but a partnership and she wanted to keep her mind in that way of thinking.

Tommy agreed with her, but he couldn't help wondering how long he would be able to watch her walk around the house and keep himself from trying to further their relationship into something sexual. Even now he wanted her, could still remember her sounds of pleasure and the feel of her soft skin. "Is that all…?"

She paused for a moment, finally turning her body towards him.

Her fingers twirled in her lap as if she was battling herself to answer. Her big eyes glistened and when she finally answered her voice was so soft he almost didn't hear the words, "Just please…don't disappoint me".

_"Bad Timeing is like bad sex"_

Rough, that was how he liked it. Sex wasn't anything if it lacked pain. The things he did didn't even surprise him anymore. So the fact that he was the reason the blade was cutting through her lower back torso didn't surprise him. No Hunter wasn't surprised at all. Lily wasn't the first person he'd tried this exhibit of sex act with. No not the first, there had been plenty of others, include Jude. She was so far from his first that he knew for a fact that the cut would heal as a scar. A short thin white scar that would take up a small portion of her back. If she moved wrong while he fucked her then the blade would do alot more damage; that he also knew for a fact. When he had the cut long enough he the blood leaden blade to the side and slide his finger over the wound. She let out low whimper, maybe of fear maybe of pleasure he didn't care either way, when he pressed down hard on the wound, coating his finger in her blood. His over hand found it way into her hair, jerking her head back and his finger pressed harder has he trust himself into her over and over until he had found his pleasure.

After getting what he'd come for he rolled off her body and onto the floor. Jerking on his pants he pulled out a couple of twenty's and threw them onto her pron body. The girl lay still with her eyes tear filled, his seed covering her thighs, her hand stroking the pain form her lower back. She could have screamed the panic word for the guards to come in when she'd seen the blade. But she had need of the money, and if selling her body would get her brother, her only leaving family, the operation he needed then she would do anything, even sell her soul. Hunter knew of Lily's need for money, people in desperate need would do anything for money, even themselves bodily harm. Without another word to the girl he swiped up his shirt and pulled it on over his head. He opened the door only to find Erin on the other side her hand posed to knock. All was silent as she looked over his shoulder, her eyes narrowing on Lily. He quickly pushed her back out of his way, leaving the room and shutting the door with a thud behind himself.

"Why aren't you with Jude?!" He thundered.

"Because she's gone."


End file.
